The concept of marriage in Islam is so sacred and valued, that it is narrated from the Prophet the doors of Allāh (SwT)’s mercy are open on this great night. This night has its own etiquettes and manners as following:
- Refrain from having the °Aqd or wedding during Qamar Dar Akrab – when the moon is passing through the phase of Scorpio.
- Refrain from having the °Aqd or wedding outdoors, under the sunlight.
- It is recommended that the °Aqd and wedding take place at night.
- Try to be in Wuďū for as much of the night as possible, and especially during the time of doing the actions below .
- Begin by praising Allāh (SwT), then say Allāhu Akbar (أللهُ أكَبر), followed by a Ŝalawāt (أللهم صلى على محمّد و آل محمّد).
- Recite a two Rak°at Ŝalāt, with the intention of ‘Mustaĥab Qurbatan IlAllāh (SwT)’ [a recommended prayer, seeking the pleasure of Allāh (SwT)], followed by a Ŝalawāt.
- Recite the following Du°ā, followed by a Ŝalawāt. First the groom should recite it, after which the bride should say: Ilāhī Amīn [May Allāh (SwT) accept this].
“O Allāh (SwT)! Bless me with her affection, love and her acceptance of me; and make me pleased with her, and bring us together in the best form of a union and in absolute harmony; surely You like lawful things and dislike unlawful things.”
- Even if a couple are not intending to conceive on the wedding night, it is recommended that the following Du°ās are recited for righteous children (whenever they are conceived):
The groom should then place his right palm on the bride’s forehead facing Qibla and recite:
“O Allāh! I have taken her as Your trust and have made her lawful for myself by Your words. Therefore, if you have decreed for me a child from hver, then make him/her blessed and pious from among the followers of the family of Muĥammad; and do not let the Satan have any part in him/her.”
The following Du°ā should also be recited:
“O Allāh! I have made her lawful for myself with Your words, and I have taken her in Your trust. O Allāh! Make her fertile and devoted.”
- The groom should wash the bride’s feet and sprinkle that water in all the four corners of the room and house. Allāh (SwT) will remove 70,000 types of poverty, 70,000 types of blessings will enter the house and 70,000 blessings will come upon the bride and groom. The bride will be safe from insanity, ulcers and leprosy.
- It is not necessary that consummation of the marriage take place on the wedding night; rather it may take a few days or even a few weeks.
- Fatigue, nervousness and tension may make it harder; therefore it is important that husband and wife take time to get comfortable with each other and move at their own pace.
- Artificial lubrication may be needed for the first few days or weeks in order to make consummation easier and more enjoyable.
- Early or premature ejaculation may be a problem for the first few times; however, this should eventually be resolved after time and experience.
- The hymen may or may not bleed. Foreplay, gentleness and intercourse again soon after can help reduce the pain of the tearing of the hymen.
- After consummation (whenever it may be), the bride should not have milk, vinegar, coriander, sour apple or melon for a week, as they cause the womb to dry up and become cold and barren.
- People may make certain comments over the next few days. It is important not to let this affect you, and not to get drawn in to their conversations.
- Don’t talk about your intimate details to outsiders; maintain respect of your spouse and your relationship.
“From Marriage to Parenthood The Heavenly Path”
Written by Abbas and Shahin Merali