Different marriages of the Prophet of Islam-2

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2-flowerWe talked in the previous post about the different marriages of the Prophet of Islam and we mentioned some preliminary points regarding that, so let’s continue.

It is shocking that the marriages of the holy Prophet of Islam except one case, were with the women who mostly were widow and were in the high age or some of them even were old women or some of them were annoying him. If someone is after his lust, does he really get married with the women with such situations?

The different marriages of the Prophet had various reasons like:

-Strengthening the social position of women in the cases that his wives were widow or even old. Like what happened in the marriage to a woman called Um-Salamah( the daughter of the aunt of the Prophet) that she was the wife of one of the companions of the Prophet who got killed because of one of the wars, and she had some orphan children.

-A political act for establishing the connection with different Arab tribes and a means to gather them under the flag of Islam, because the strongest relation among the Arab was the family relations and they knew their son-in-law as one of their family members and they knew binding upon themselves to defend him.

-Removing the wrong custom of that time like what happened in the marriage to a woman called Zaynab and the story in short is that Zaynab was the wife of the adopted son of the Prophet i.e. Zayd. When Zayd divorced his wife the Prophet got married to Zaynab in order to practically remove the custom of that time that a man cannot get married to the wife of his adopted son.

Another point here is that as we said before, the condition for having more than one wife is to do justice among them. The history bears witness that the Prophet was doing justice among his wife to the extent that in most days he was visiting them, even in the time of his last moments he was observing their rights, it is narrated in the history that in the last days of his lifetime that he was so weak, he was transmitting his bed every day from one room to the other(to observe the right of being with different wives) and one day he gathered all of his wives and asked permission from them to be in the room of one of them and they all gave permission.

Different marriages of the Prophet of Islam/1

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2-flowerThe anti-Islamic groups criticize the holy Prophet of Islam because of the number of the wives that he had and accuse him of being a person of lust. Let’s mention some preliminary points in this regard, and then look at some philosophies of those marriages in order to remove this evil accusation.

The first important preliminary point here is that having different wives was a very common and usual custom of the people on that time and it was not only for the Prophet of Islam. The holy Prophet did not oppose many customs of that time which were not against the goals and cultural bases of Islam, and in some cases Islam changed some customs into a better form.

The other point which must be taken into consideration is that the situation of the women before Islam was so bad   and their rights were violated but when the religion of Islam emerged, it gave so much honor and dignity to the women to the extent that the holy Prophet of Islam said: “The best among you are those who have the best relation and treatment with their wives and I am the best among you who treats his wives well”, and one of the last advices of the Prophet at the time of his departure was recommending about the women to be treated kindly.

Another important point here which is so shocking and helpful is that the holy Prophet of Islam when he was 25 years old got married to Lady khadijah who was (according to some historians) 40 years old and till the time of the death of Lady Khadijah the Prophet did not get married to any woman else.

If the Prophet of Islam was a person of lust, so why did he spend his youth i.e. 25 years with only one woman that(according to many historians) was older than him?

Another witness for our claim is that if the holy Prophet of Islam was after his lust, he could reach to it when the enemies of Islam told his uncle: Ask your brother’s son to leave his invitation to Islam and as the exchange, we will give him so many properties and beautiful women, but the Prophet answered to his uncle: If they give the sun into my right hand and the moon into my left hand(meaning if they give my so many precious things) in order to ask me to leave my invitation to Islam, I will not do that. So can we ascribe to such a person who is so careful about the divine religion to be lustful?

To be continued.

“Bigamy of Woman”

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Bigamy of WomanThe “Bigamy of Woman” is forbidden in Islam. It means that a woman is not allowed to have more than one husband. On the other hand a man is allowed to have more than one wife. We talked in detail about the bigamy of men, so let’s talk about that of woman.

Throughout the history except in a few cases, the women have not had more than one husband. The psychological researches show that women themselves are so eager to have just one husband.

So the bigamy of women is against the nature of the women.

One of the bad results of that is the mistake in the generations. In such a relation i.e. the bigamy of women the connection between fathers and children is not clear, because it is not clear that to which husband the child of the wife belongs, while the definite connection between the previous generation and the next one is as an instinct in the innate nature of the human.

Another bad effect of that is that in such cases the deep attention that a normal father has to his child, cannot be created because the husbands of a wife are not sure about this matter that which child is theirs, so they are not eager to raise the child properly and they see no responsibility on their shoulders about that child. So if a child is not under deep attention and love of his/her father, he/she definitely will face many crises in the future.

The bigamy of women cannot supply the sexual needs of the men. Because a women might not be able to fulfill the needs of different men properly, so the sexual need of men remains unanswered, A need that if is not fulfilled logically, it will cause so many problems and destroy the tranquility of the man.

Another point here is that the bigamy of women removes the love. It is accepted by the psychology that a woman needs love while having sexual relations. Having different intercourses with different men is not due to the natural amount of the sexual needs of a woman. On the other hand when different men want to have intercourse with a woman, it causes them to find hostility between themselves, the matter which might cause many disputes and conflicts.

When we refer to the psychology we find out that in the process of the sexual intercourse the woman wants to be loved and be asked for creating the relation. But in the case of bigamy this need of women is not fulfilled completely, because different man do not spend enough time to gradually prepare the woman for such a relation, so in such cases the sexual violence happens and this state not only deprives a women from sexual pleasure but also makes the intercourse as a hateful act to the women.

The obscenity of the bigamy of women is so much obvious to the extent that the most corrupted persons in the world, consider it as a kind or obscene act, so how do some people expect the religion of Islam which is are religion of intellect to decree the permit of this so obscene act?

Bigamy of men

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BigamyOne of the Islamic rules regarding the women is that if a virgin girl wants to get married, she must have the satisfaction and the pleasance of her father about the one with whom she wants to get married. Some anti-Islam individuals blame Islam and accuse it of oppressing to the women, so let’s look at this rule in detail.

In Islam both adult girl and boy have the independence in financial and economic incomes. They can manage their own property in every way they wish. There is a different in the rule of marriage. If a virgin daughter has father or the grandfather (on the side of her father), and she has access to them and they do not oppose illogically, in that situation the pleasance of father is necessary. But if just one of these conditions is not available, undoubtedly the pleasance of the daughter herself is enough. The satisfaction of the daughter is so important to the extent that if a father marries his daughter to someone with whom the daughter is not satisfied, the marriage is invalid.

There is an importance point here that can be so helpful in understanding the philosophy behind this rule. We mentioned that this rule is necessary when the daughter is “Virgin”. Let me continue my intention through an example. Imagine a 16 years daughter which is divorced or widow (and is not virgin) and a 18 years single daughter which is virgin, both of them want to get married, according to the mentioned Islamic rule the first daughter does not need her father’s pleasance, but the second one needs that even though the second daughter is older than that the first one. The other important point here is that if Islam really had considered an adult daughter as an unable person for managing her own affairs, so why the adult daughter is independent in her financial and economic affairs and if she wants to make very vast transactions she does not need the permission of her father?

As Martyr Motahari says, this rule is related to the psychological differences between man and women. It is so clear that the man is the slave of lust and the woman is the captive of love. The thing that can overcome a man is the lust and a woman can be overcome by love. According to the physiological discussions the expression of love to a woman is so effective and we see that the holy Prophet of Islam said that if a husband says to his wife: I love you” this saying never comes out of the heart of the wife.

And this might be the reason of an Islamic rule which states: It is forbidden for a man to express his love to a strange (non-Mahram) woman.

There are many men in the society that are after their lust. They misuse this psychological aspect of the women. They express their superficial love to a daughter that has no enough experience about the men. So here is an important place that we see that not only Islam does not insult the women but also helps and protects them against such traps of the men of lust through issuing the decree of the necessity of the pleasance of her father; a man who is so kind to his daughter and is eager to the tranquility of his daughter more than anyone else and is so aware of the traps of the dishonest men. So what is the problem that the pleasance of such a kind personality i.e. the father is a condition for the validity of the marriage? and as we said this rule is in the situations that the father does not oppose without any logical reason.

And as the last point we remind the young individuals especially the daughters of taking lessons from the stories of those who were trapped by different dishonest men; the men who cheat the daughters and after fulfilling their own selfish and evil desires leave the daughters and go to other daughters, the men who misuse the pure love of the daughters about making the covenant of their marriage to the men who want to be with them forever.

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Source:Islamquest.net

Permission of father for marriage

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PermissionOne of the Islamic rules regarding the women is that if a virgin girl wants to get married, she must have the satisfaction and the pleasance of her father about the one with whom she wants to get married. Some anti-Islam individuals blame Islam and accuse it of oppressing to the women, so let’s look at this rule in detail.

In Islam both adult girl and boy have the independence in financial and economic incomes. They can manage their own property in every way they wish. There is a different in the rule of marriage. If a virgin daughter has father or the grandfather (on the side of her father), and she has access to them and they do not oppose illogically, in that situation the pleasance of father is necessary. But if just one of these conditions is not available, undoubtedly the pleasance of the daughter herself is enough. The satisfaction of the daughter is so important to the extent that if a father marries his daughter to someone with whom the daughter is not satisfied, the marriage is invalid.

There is an importance point here that can be so helpful in understanding the philosophy behind this rule. We mentioned that this rule is necessary when the daughter is “Virgin”. Let me continue my intention through an example. Imagine a 16 years daughter which is divorced or widow (and is not virgin) and a 18 years single daughter which is virgin, both of them want to get married, according to the mentioned Islamic rule the first daughter does not need her father’s pleasance, but the second one needs that even though the second daughter is older than that the first one. The other important point here is that if Islam really had considered an adult daughter as an unable person for managing her own affairs, so why the adult daughter is independent in her financial and economic affairs and if she wants to make very vast transactions she does not need the permission of her father?

As Martyr Motahari says, this rule is related to the psychological differences between man and women. It is so clear that the man is the slave of lust and the woman is the captive of love. The thing that can overcome a man is the lust and a woman can be overcome by love. According to the physiological discussions the expression of love to a woman is so effective and we see that the holy Prophet of Islam said that if a husband says to his wife: I love you” this saying never comes out of the heart of the wife.

And this might be the reason of an Islamic rule which states: It is forbidden for a man to express his love to a strange (non-Mahram) woman.

There are many men in the society that are after their lust. They misuse this psychological aspect of the women. They express their superficial love to a daughter that has no enough experience about the men. So here is an important place that we see that not only Islam does not insult the women but also helps and protects them against such traps of the men of lust through issuing the decree of the necessity of the pleasance of her father; a man who is so kind to his daughter and is eager to the tranquility of his daughter more than anyone else and is so aware of the traps of the dishonest men. So what is the problem that the pleasance of such a kind personality i.e. the father is a condition for the validity of the marriage? and as we said this rule is in the situations that the father does not oppose without any logical reason.

And as the last point we remind the young individuals especially the daughters of taking lessons from the stories of those who were trapped by different dishonest men; the men who cheat the daughters and after fulfilling their own selfish and evil desires leave the daughters and go to other daughters, the men who misuse the pure love of the daughters about making the covenant of their marriage to the men who want to be with them forever.

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Source:Islamquest.net

The satisfaction of the husband for going out of the house /3

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muslim-couple1In the previous posts we talked about the matter of asking permission for a wife from her husband for going out of the house.

We said that in every system we need a manager that takes care to the affairs of that system. And we said that according to different reasons Islam has appointed the man as the manager of the family. And we described in detail that it does not mean that a man is better than a woman.

Undoubtedly the personality of a woman is more exposed to the dangers out of the house. There are many individuals in the society that are after their selfish desires and lusts, on the other hand a woman is more vulnerable than a man. So according to these matters, if the man who is the manager of a family, wants to manage the family successfully, he must not be indifferent about his family. A man who is in his innate nature wants to protect his wife; it requires him to take care of her. As we said before we must not consider the behavior of some Muslims as an Islamic matter. For example some people might be so unfeeling to the extent that they do not let their wives to even visit their relatives.

An important point here is that some people might think that it is obligatory upon every woman Muslim to ask for permission from her husband for every single traffic, but we must say that the main point here is that a wife must not go out of the house in the situations that her husband is not satisfied. The awareness of the satisfaction of the husband is enough. For example the husband knows that his wife wants to go out to school or office or mall, and the wife knows that her husband is pleasant with going to such places, just like what happens nowadays that usually men are satisfied with the common traffics of their wives, so it such cases asking the permission is not necessary and in the usual situations when the husband knows his wife well, he usually has a general pleasance about his wife’s whole traffics.

Psychologically speaking, when a man knows that in the normal situations his wife is in the house which is the safest places for her and knows that if his wife wants to go somewhere she will inform him, this can give tranquility to the man and can help him to do his job with more peace of mind.

So after all of these descriptions we understood that this Islamic rule is not the oppression against the freedom of women or a kind of insulting them.

The satisfaction of the husband for going out of the house /2

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muslim-couple1In the previous post we talked in detail about the difference between legality and morality. We started to talk about the philosophy of the rule which states a wife is not allowed to go out of the house without the satisfaction of her husband. So let’s continue that.

It is so clear that every system needs a manager, the one to be in charge of different affairs of that system. When we talk about the management here, as an important point we must mention that by “manger” we do not mean to be someone that is arrogant, but rather we mean the one that wisely controls different matters of that system, and tries to manage that system in a way that the best results will be obtained. The family is a system and we are not wrong if we say that the most important system is family because other systems like the different offices or factories etc. are so much effected by the way that the individuals have grown in their families.

The importance of the manager and management is so much to the extent that the scholars say that even in the situations that two persons are with each other on a trip, it is so appropriate for them to assign one of themselves as a manager, the one that decides as the last person. The religion of Islam has appointed man as the manager of the house and has appointed some responsibilities for him like raising the children, supplying the economic needs of his wife and children etc. The reason of this appointment is clear.

The physical abilities of the man and the power for earning money, protecting the family members against the dangers etc. are some of its reasons. And if we frankly and fairly and without any presupposition think about that, we see that this appointment is not because of the imaginary thoughts that men are higher than women and are better than them. Even if we refer to the women, they themselves want to have a husband on whom they can rely. On the other hand the man has the nature of protecting his family members to the last breath. And as we just mentioned, this does not mean that a man must be arrogant and opinionated. So this is something which is in the innate nature of man and woman.

One of the aspects of a manager of a system is to be attentive about the behaviors of the members of that system. Imagine a manager of an office who is indifferent about his members, so what a disturbed system it would be. So if a system wants to be successful in his way, taking care of the members of that system must be important to the manager. Let’s bring a clearer example. Imagine that a father of a house does not take care of his children, or the friends of them, or about the gatherings in which his children participate, so in your idea, can we call this family as a successful and sample family?

To be continued.

The satisfaction of the husband for going out of the house /1

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muslim-couple1There are some rules in Islam regarding the rights of the wife and husband. For example the duty of husband is to supply the economic needs of his wife i.e. food, cloth and house, or the duty of a wife is to expose herself to her husband when he wants to have intercourse with her (of course if there is not any barrier like the illness of women etc.). One of the duties of a wife is to leave going out of the house in the cases with which her husband is not satisfied. As we said before we must differentiate between the legality and morality. Let me talk in detail trough an example. Imagine a family, the husband says to his wife: You must not go anywhere except in the cases that I let you. In the same time the wife says: If you order me in this way, so I do not cook even the most simplest foods and you must prepare for me delicious foods three times a day and I don’t clean the house or do laundry or nurse the baby.

You see in this example, the words of both wife and husband is not against Islamic rulings. The legal duty of a wife is not to cook or clean the house, and on the other hand the wife should not go out of the house without the satisfaction of her husband. Imagine what a bitter life this family would have if they want to insist on their own rights. On the other hand there are many Narrations that describe the Thawabs and rewards of a woman who does the affairs of the house or the rewards of a man who helps his wife in the house. So how can we add between these two cases i.e. the legality and morality? The answer is to say that the mentioned rights of each wife and husband can create a balance between them in the life and only as the last stage of the dispute among them or at the time of referring to the court they can be brought as witness. So we must not mix between them. After talking about this important point let’s look at the reason or philosophy beyond the Islamic rule which states the wife is not allowed to go out of the house without the satisfaction of her husband, because you know that some people might blame Islam and say that Islam is against the freedom of the women.

At the beginning we must say that this rule is not a general rule. There are some cases that the wife is allowed to go out of the house without the permission of her husband, like the time of the obligatory Hajj (pilgrimage of the house of Allah in Mecca), referring to a court or some other places for complaining about an oppression that was done to her, or (according to some jurists) in the situations that the wife has made an obligatory condition at the time of marriage to have the permission to go out of the house whenever she wants.

To be continued.

The position of mother in Islam

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The-position-of-mother-in-IslamAccording to Islamic teachings, the position of the mother is so high. We see that we are ordered by the Quran and the Narrations of the Infallibles to respect the parents so extremely. The holy Quran explicitly said in chapter verse:

وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاَهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا

وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

“Your lord has ordered you to worship none except him, and to be good to your parents. if either or both of them attain old age with you, do not say: “fie on you”, nor rebuke them, but speak to them with words of respect.

And lower to them the wing of humbleness out of mercy and say: ‘my lord, be merciful to them, as they raised me since i was little. ‘”

A man came to the holy Prophet of Islam and asked him:

O the messenger of Allah, to whom should I be good and kind? The Prophet replied: Your mother. The man asked: And then to whom? The Prophet answered: Your mother. The man asked the same question and the Prophet answered: Your mother. In the fourth time when the man asked the same question, the Prophet replied: Your father.

According to Islamic teachings the anger or the pleasance of Allah is related to the anger or the pleasance of the parents. This means that we must always make them satisfied with ourselves and must obey them except in the situations in which the orders or the satisfaction of the parents are against the orders of Allah, in such cases we are not allowed to obey the parents but even in such cases we must treat them kindly.

It is so shocking that in Islam we are prohibited to even look at the parents out of anger and wrath. Imam Sadiq peace be upon him said:

“The one who looks at his/her parents out of wrath, (even though) they have oppressed him/her, his/her prayer will not be accepted by Allah.”

The holy Prophet of Islam mentioned in a Narration that Paradise is under the feet of the mothers. The Islamic scholars describe this Narration in this way: If you want to enter in the Paradise, the way toward that is the satisfaction of the mother, and if your mother is not satisfied with you, you will not be allowed to enter the Paradise.

The position of the woman in Islam-2

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One of the highest teachings of Islam is removing different kinds of void and imaginary superiority like the racial discriminations, tribal prejudice etc. In Islam all the humans are equal in the eyes of Allah and no one can say that because for example I am a rich man, so I’m better than others, or because I come from a civilized country so I have to be respected by others, or because I am a man, so I’m higher than the women. The only superiority of one person over others is mentioned in the verse 13 in chapter Hujurat:

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ وَأُنثَى وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ

“People, we have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes that you might know one another. The noblest of you before Allah is the most righteous of you. Allah is the knower, the aware.”

When we refer to the Islamic rulings we see that what greatness and honor Islam has given to the women. In Islam the man can never force woman to work for him even the tiniest works. In Islam woman is not bound to cook or clean the house etc. the man cannot spent even a dollar of the property of a woman without her permission and pleasance. The very interesting point here is that a husband cannot and is not allowed to force his wife to nurse and suckle their baby. Of course here is an important discussion; in such cases that the man cannot force his wife to do the above mentioned items, it is good morally for a woman to help her husband in the affairs of the house like cooking or nursing the baby, but from the viewpoint of Islamic rulings these mentioned affairs are not the duties and responsibilities of women. So we must not mix between moral discussions and those of law.

An important point here which is a cause for a lot of accusations is that we must not consider the deeds of some Muslims as the teachings of Islam. For example there are some extreme so-called Muslims that they attack other peoples and murder them under the name of Islam, the extreme group that ruins the face of the real Islam. So for knowing the Islam we must refer to the reliable sources and pure teachings of Islam and to the real explanations of them.

When we refer to the books of the history of west, we see that for many centuries women did not have the right of ownership, and since the year 1882 they got allowed to spend their own wages and it is considerable that according to some western historians even this decree was issued in order to drag the women into working into the factories in order to uses from their energy for very few wages, but look at the teachings of Islam that from fourteen centuries ago decreed that women can spend their property. Allah said in chapter Nisa verse 32:

لِّلرِّجَالِ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا اكْتَسَبُواْ وَلِلنِّسَاء نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا اكْتَسَبْنَ

“For men is a share of what they earn, and for women is a share of what they earn.”

From the above verse we understand that none of the rights of men or women must be violated.