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How to Cure Our Lying?

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lyingTo lie means to say something that you know is wrong on purpose.

We all know that lying is a great sin. The bad thing is that we do not realize how often we are doing it.

Our Sixth Imam said that it is more difficult to repent for many small sins than for one big sin.

Remember the story of the two men who came to Imam to repent for their sins.
Prophet Muhammad (S) has said:

“Leave falsehood and make speaking the truth a habit.”

“If a person has a habit of speaking lies, he is a hypocrite until he rids himself of the habit.”

To lie is Haraam because you are deceiving others. There are many reasons why people lie, some of them are:

  1. as an excuse to get yourself out of trouble;
  2. to cheat somebody out of something you want;
  3. to get someone else into trouble.

As you can see, all the above reasons are bad. If you have done something which gets you into trouble, then you should face it, and not lie your way out of it because that is being very irresponsible.

Holy Qur’an also tells us not to lie:
(2:42) “And cover not Truth with falsehood, nor conceal the Truth when you know (what it is).

Prophet Muhammad (S) has also said:

“Beware of association with the liar for he is like a mirage which draws the far one nearer to you and the nearer far from you.”

If you make the habit of lying, then you will lie very often without realizing. You will lie to your family, your friends and everybody you meet. Then one day you will be caught out because you will have trapped yourself in a corner, and there will be no escape.

Also if you make a habit of lying you will start doing other things which are even worse. One evil leads you to another. So it is necessary for all of us to confront this ugly habit. There are some practical recommendations which can be helpful:

  1. Make a commitment to stop. Treat lying as you would any other addiction, make a serious commitment to quit. It’s going to require a lot of hard work and thought, so set a date after which you vow to be honest and get a plan in place to help you be successful. Reading this article is a great first step.
  2. If you can’t say something true, don’t say anything at all. When you’re faced with a trigger and tempted to tell a lie, stop yourself from speaking at all. If you simply can’t be honest in the moment, it’s better to stay quiet or change the subject. You are not required to answer questions you don’t want to answer, or reveal information you don’t feel like revealing.
  3. Practice actively telling the truth. If you’ve been lying more often than not, telling the truth really does take practice. The key is to think before you speak, and decide to say something true instead of false. Again, if you’re asked a question you can’t answer truthfully, don’t answer. The more you tell the truth, the easier it will become.
  4. Make honesty the core of your character. Honesty is a character trait that is highly valued across cultures and societies. It’s a quality that is honed through the hard work of being strong in difficult situations year in and year out. Let truth, rather than lies, become your automatic response when you’re faced with the trials of life.

 

How to Cure Our Arrogance ?

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arrogance Imam al-Sadiq (A) says: `Verily kibr (arrogance) is the lowest degree of ilhad (apostasy)’

Kibr is the name of a psychic state in which a person feels a sense of superiority and behaves high-handedly with others.

Its signs are discernible in his actions and its symptoms are clearly noticed by others by which they know that he is proud.

This perception of superiority and supremacy over others causes in him a state of vanity which is arrogance.

Kibr, in this sense, is an inner state, and when its effects are reflected in his behaviour and his speech, it is called takabbur.

 In short, the self-indulgent person becomes self-seeking, and his self seeking tendency grows into self-love, and when this self-love is filled to the brim it manifests itself as haughtiness and high-handed treatment of others.

Now that you have known the viciousness of arrogance, it is now your duty to resolve to cure yourself of this disease and to make up your mind to purge your heart from its taints and remove its traces and its heavy dust from the mirror of your heart:

  1. My friend, if you are proud of your spiritual attainments, they (i.e. the Prophet and Imam ‘Ali) were over and above all of us in this respect; and if you have arrogance in your office and authority, they possessed true sovereignty. Yet, in spite of it, their humility and modesty was more than of anybody else. This shows that humility is the product of knowledge and wisdom, and arrogance is the outcome of ignorance.
  2. Free yourself from the ignominy of ignorance and the disgrace of petty-mindedness;
  3. Acquire the attributes of the prophets and shed the qualities of Satan.
  4. Do not contend with your God regarding His mantle of Arrogance and Glory, as His wrath will subdue the contender and he will fall on his face into hell-fire. If you make up your mind for rectifying your self, the way to do so is also easy if you are somewhat persevering. You will not encounter any peril on this way if you move with manly resolve, freedom of thought, and high-mindedness. The only way of overpowering your carnal self and repelling the insinuations of Satan is to act against their incitements.
  5. No other way is better for crushing the desires of the self as adopting the traits and qualities of the modest and following their behavior and character. In whatever stage of arrogance you may be, and to whatever scientific or professional field you belong, you are advised to act against the inclinations and desires of the self.
  6. By discovering and meditating about this-worldly and other-worldly consequences of arrogance, it is hoped, your journey will become easier and you will reach the desired goal. If your self wishes that you should take the seat of chairmanship of the gathering or to take precedence over your colleagues and equals, you should act against its desire. If your self incites you to refrain from joining the company of the poor and indigent, admonish it severely and resolutely go and sit in their company, dine with them and travel with them.
  7. It is possible that your inner self would try to prevent you by arguing that you are a person of a higher position and that it is essential to keep up your esteem and dignity for the sake of the propagation of the Shari’ah, that sitting with the poor will undermine your respect in society, that humor with the subordinates will be injurious to your authority, that occupying a lowly place in gatherings will affect your status and then you will not be able to perform your religious duties properly… and so on.

[And the last point is that] be certain that all these are guiles of the Devil and wiles of the self. You have read and heard about the behavior and character of the Holy Prophet (S), whose worldly position was incomparably superior to you.

 

How to Increase Our Patience?

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time concept, selective focus point, special toned photo f/x

time concept, selective focus point, special toned photo f/x

The reality is whether it is the life of the world or the hereafter, the final result of patience is very sweet and very peaceful. People who fail to show patience get caught in many problems and difficulties in their lives. There are some recommendations that help us increase our patience:

  1. Believing in God; Imam Ali said” base of  patience is believing in God”
  2. Having constant relation with God; وَ اسْتَعينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ وَ الصَّلاةِ وَ إِنَّها لَكَبيرَةٌ إِلاَّ عَلَى الْخاشِعينَ “and seek help through patience and prayer , and indeed, it is difficult except for  the humbly submissive to Allah
  3. Realizing the fact that all events originate from God’s mercy, even misfortune and unpleasant happenings.
  4. Paying attention to the great reward of patience in the next world; “those who encounter with torment and pain ,but don’t lose their patience they will be highly rewarded in the hereafter”
  5. Paying attention to the fact that everything is limited in this world, both torment and pleasure will come to an end very soon.
  6. Looking at those who deal with greater problems; there are people who are faced with permanent disabilities.

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How to Cure Our Jealousy?

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jealousy_scrabbleJealousy is a low spirit and attitude in its possessor causing him/her to wish for another to lose something he/she has. But how is one supposed to struggle against “jealousy”?

This is a disease so it must have a remedy. What is the way to acquire the remedy? In order to answer the question on the roots of jealousy and its remedies, one must be aware of the following points:

1) Definition of Jealousy

Jealousy is a low spirit and low ego causing the jealous person to wish for others to lose what they possess, let it be something that the jealous person imagines as valuable or something that is truly valuable, making no difference that the jealous person also possesses the same thing or not, and if not, will reach it one day or not.

2) The difference between jealousy and Ghibtah

Ghibtah is a state of mind in which an individual wishes to possess a virtue or object like that of which others have, without wishing for others to lose theirs.

3) The difference between jealousy and Gheyrah

Gheyrah is a state of mind in which one wishes that others wouldn’t have bad traits and unacceptable attributes.

4) The reasons behind why one becomes jealous

Each of these reasons is separate, such that each by itself can cause one to be jealous, therefore the more the reasons, the more jealous one can get and as a result, the harder it will get to remedy such a problem. Here are some of its reasons:

  1. a) Inner corruption: Some people are so bad that they just can’t stand the fact that others have what they don’t.
  2. b) The feeling of being low and of no worth: Meaning that since one feels very low and worthless, he/she can’t see others being of importance and personal worth.
  3. c) Selfishness and being obsessed with one’s self: In this case, the jealous person wants to be the only one praised by others and is very self-centered and therefore wishes for others to lack what may cause praise and fame.
  4. d) Hatred: Since the jealous person is enemies with someone, he/she can’t stand him/her possessing anything good or any beauties and praiseworthy virtues.

5) Ways of dealing with jealousy

  1. a) Thinking about the negative mental and spiritual effects it can have on the person and his/her nerves. For instance, jealous people are always upset and depressed, because god-given blessings are endless and infinite (and God gives bestows them on anyone he pleases), causing them to continuously burn in the fire of worry, depression and anger.
  2. b) Thinking about the bad effects that the Prophet (pbuh) and imams (as) have stated that it has on one’s religion and hereafter; Some of them are as follows:

Jealousy spoils one’s religion, ruins one’s faith, causes one to turn away from God’s authority and friendship and hate what he does, results in Allah’s rejection of one’s worship and repentance and Shafa’ah (intercession), ruins good virtues and is the source of many sins.

  1. c) Strengthening one’s faith in Allah (swt) and his traits and actions; and that any materialistic or spiritual blessing he bestows on anyone, is a result of his compassion, mercy, justice, wisdom, and his testing us, and that if he doesn’t grant something to a certain person, it is a test on his behalf to see what he/she will do, or it is for him/her to reach higher spiritual ranks and be of a higher position in the hereafter, etc.
  2. d) Obtaining high spirits that oppose the roots of jealousy; For instance, instead of being ugly on the inside, being pure and of high morale. Instead of feeling poor and worthless because of not having what others do, being of high character and integrity. Instead of being selfish and self-cantered, being humble and God-cantered and familiar with Him, and instead of enmity towards others, choosing to be friends with them.
  3. e) Doing or being the opposite of what jealousy calls for; happiness instead of worry, being good-humored instead of bad-tempered, and commending others instead of speaking ill of them.
  4. f) Calling Allah and supplicating him, since he is the All-Sufficient; being free of any need and also frees others of need.Supplication is the best and most effective method for curing mental and spiritual illnesses such as jealousy. During supplication Imam Sajjad (as) says: “Oh God, I seek refuge in Thee, from …and the domination of jealousy…”

 

How to Become More Sincere?

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being-sincere-The first step in the journey towards God is abandonment of self-love and crushing the head of egoism under one’s foot. To the extent that one succeeds in purging his or her heart of self-love, the love of God shall enter it to the same extent and it shall also be purified of latent shirk (egoism).

Prophet Muhammad (s) said: “The person who devotes himself sincerely to God for forty days, streams of wisdom will flow from his heart to his tongue.” [Al-Suyuti, al-Durr al-Manthur, vol.2, p. 237]

There are some practical points which help us be more sincere in our life:

  1. If you have done some good actions solely to please God, helped someone or are performing obligatory or supererogatory acts of worship then know that you can never be secure from the evil of Satan and your lowly self (Nafs Al-ammarah) until the end of your life.
  2. You must exercise vigilance, as your low self may prompt you to make a verbal mention of it in front of your friends or acquaintances, or to express it in the way of a subtle hint without directly mentioning it. For instance, if you are regularly observing night prayers, your low self may prompt you to pass a hint by speaking about the good or bad weather conditions at daybreak or about suppli­cations or the call for fajr prayers, thus polluting your act of worship with Riya. You must, thus resist all such tendencies.
  3. You must keep a watch over yourself, like a kind physician or nurse, and not let the rebellious self get out of control; for a moment of neglect may give it the opportunity to break its reins and lead your sincere actions into ruin. Purification of intention from all levels of duality (shirk) and showing-off (Riya), constant vigilance over it, and its perseverance in purity makes up a difficult task.
  4. Try to remind yourself of your duties and judge your intention and actions in the light of following verse of the Holy Qur’an: Say: “Truly my prayer and my service of sacrifice, my life and my death are (all) for Allah, the Lord of the Worlds. (6:162).
  5. And as long as you have egoism and self-seeking, love of office and position, even if you take a step for the acquisition of divine knowledge or spiritual excellences, these will be ultimately sought for selfish ends. God-seeking and self-seeking cannot go together. Rather, if God is sought for the sake of the self, the ultimate goal is the self and the ego. [Al-Khomeini, Forty Hadith, chapter 20, p.8]

How to be more attractive according to islam

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a520ef86dc_cute-mustlime-couple13Everyone like to be more attractive and try many ways but a few of people find a correct path

Try to Learn everywhere and every time:
A wise man try to know interesting and necessary information about life, future, religion, history, Islam and….So read books, newspaper, magazine and most importantly the holy Quran.

Be independent. Drive your own car and stand on your feet.

Travel (before and after the university). See the world, experience things and learn about other cultures,

The holy Quran said: we did not send [any apostles] before you except as men from among the people of the towns, to whom We revealed. Have they not travelled over the land so that they may observe how was the fate of those who were before them was? And the abode of the Hereafter is surely better for those who are God wary. Do you not exercise your reason?][Holy quran(12:109)[

Improve your fitness: a charming and intelligent man always has fitness. Fitness indicates that the person is healthy. You can choose very easy way to be in shape, so walk everyday about 30 minutes and eat vegetable and fruit.

Be outstanding: you can be highlighted in different ways so follow the behaviors worthy, wear a perfume as Prophet Mohammad (sawa) among the prophet’s patterns of life are chastity , forbearance ,brushing one’s teeth , and using perfume.(Nahjul fasahah)

Be stylish and up to date: always wash and iron your clothes

Control your smile: Do not laugh aloud.