Permission of father for marriage

One of the Islamic rules regarding the women is that if a virgin girl wants to get married, she must have the satisfaction and the pleasance of her father about the one with whom she wants to get married. Some anti-Islam individuals blame Islam and accuse it of oppressing to the women, so let’s look at this rule in detail.

In Islam both adult girl and boy have the independence in financial and economic incomes. They can manage their own property in every way they wish. There is a different in the rule of marriage. If a virgin daughter has father or the grandfather (on the side of her father), and she has access to them and they do not oppose illogically, in that situation the pleasance of father is necessary. But if just one of these conditions is not available, undoubtedly the pleasance of the daughter herself is enough. The satisfaction of the daughter is so important to the extent that if a father marries his daughter to someone with whom the daughter is not satisfied, the marriage is invalid.

There is an importance point here that can be so helpful in understanding the philosophy behind this rule. We mentioned that this rule is necessary when the daughter is “Virgin”. Let me continue my intention through an example. Imagine a 16 years daughter which is divorced or widow (and is not virgin) and a 18 years single daughter which is virgin, both of them want to get married, according to the mentioned Islamic rule the first daughter does not need her father’s pleasance, but the second one needs that even though the second daughter is older than that the first one. The other important point here is that if Islam really had considered an adult daughter as an unable person for managing her own affairs, so why the adult daughter is independent in her financial and economic affairs and if she wants to make very vast transactions she does not need the permission of her father?

As Martyr Motahari says, this rule is related to the psychological differences between man and women. It is so clear that the man is the slave of lust and the woman is the captive of love. The thing that can overcome a man is the lust and a woman can be overcome by love. According to the physiological discussions the expression of love to a woman is so effective and we see that the holy Prophet of Islam said that if a husband says to his wife: I love you” this saying never comes out of the heart of the wife.

And this might be the reason of an Islamic rule which states: It is forbidden for a man to express his love to a strange (non-Mahram) woman.

There are many men in the society that are after their lust. They misuse this psychological aspect of the women. They express their superficial love to a daughter that has no enough experience about the men. So here is an important place that we see that not only Islam does not insult the women but also helps and protects them against such traps of the men of lust through issuing the decree of the necessity of the pleasance of her father; a man who is so kind to his daughter and is eager to the tranquility of his daughter more than anyone else and is so aware of the traps of the dishonest men. So what is the problem that the pleasance of such a kind personality i.e. the father is a condition for the validity of the marriage? and as we said this rule is in the situations that the father does not oppose without any logical reason.

And as the last point we remind the young individuals especially the daughters of taking lessons from the stories of those who were trapped by different dishonest men; the men who cheat the daughters and after fulfilling their own selfish and evil desires leave the daughters and go to other daughters, the men who misuse the pure love of the daughters about making the covenant of their marriage to the men who want to be with them forever.

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Source:Islamquest.net