How should I move to a life that I have not known before?

Question: I want to get married, but I want you to advise me. How should I move to a life that I have not known before?

The answer: Dear young man, marriage is a great and important decision in one’s life. When a reasonable man decides to take such an important decision, he has to think deeply and wisely.

Dear brother, first, you have to prepare for all the requirements of marriage, and then do not act, when choosing the partner of your life, as if you are buying something from a store. This is also said to a young woman when choosing the partner of her life. You have to be very precise in choosing the qualities of your future wife in order to be happy and successful and to win the good end.

It is mentioned that one day a young man, whose name was Ibrahim al-Karkhi, asked Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.) a question like yours. Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.) said to him, ‘See where you will put yourself, who you will make a partner in your wealth, and to whom you will reveal your religion and secrets…’

In another tradition, Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.) has said, ‘Woman is like a necklace. See what necklace you put on!’

Then, advance to take the other steps and beware of aiming at just beauty or wealth, because these two things may disappear by accidents, which will not tell you before they take place. If you do not concentrate your choice on faith and morals, you will face a dark fate.

Do not misunderstand me and think that Islam does not pay attention to beauty and wealth, but Islam warns of making them the priority when choosing one’s wife (or husband). The Prophet (S) has said, ‘From the happiness of a Muslim man is…a beautiful woman who is religious.44’ He has also said, ‘A Muslim man does not profit from anything, after Islam, better than a Muslim woman, who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he orders her, and is devoted to him in keeping her honor and his wealth when he is absent.’

Outward beauty may give pleasure, but religious and moral beauty gives more pleasure. Therefore, it is mentioned that one day a man asked Imam Hasan (a.s.), ‘To whom should I marry my daughter?’ Imam Hasan (a.s.) said to him, ‘Marry her to a pious man, because if he loves her, he will honor her, and if he hates her, he will not do wrong towards her.’

The beauty of morals and piety defeats the crises that throw marital life into melancholy. O dear young man who are about to get married, you have to read about these principles and values and then rely on Allah. We would like to say to you and to your wife: congratulations on your marriage!