How shall I deal with low self-esteem?
Question: I am a sad young man. I live with worry and boredom. Sometimes, I tell myself that I am a mistake in this existence. Why have I come? Who has brought me? And why does no one respond to my opinions?
The answer: You should change your way of thinking and life by doing various things:
1. Busy yourself with something like walking in the garden, for example!
2. Relax in a calm place, even if for a few minutes!
3. Observe the beautiful scenes of nature and ponder on the greatness of their Creator!
4. Practice swimming or some other sportive exercises!
5. Read some comic books or whatever else you think befits your state!
6. Assign an hour everyday for supplication, with reflection on the meaning of your supplication, and let this hour be after midnight or before sunshine!
7. Go out with your good friends!
8. Go visit your relatives!
9. Write the letters B and G in a little notebook and try, from the moment you awake, to watch yourself. When you commit a bad deed, Allah forbid, place a mark under the letter B, and whenever you perform a good deed, place a mark under the letter G. This personal vigilance will make you delighted with your good deeds and then you will decide to increase what pleases you and decrease what displeases you.
Try to form some resolutions:
1. Decide to be humble in your life! Do you know that without humbleness, the clouds, the seas, the trees, the plants, and the flowers would not give us delight or pleasure?
2. Love knowledge and scholars, for knowledge is light, and without scholars, life would be dark!
3. Be pious! Do not approach sins for sinners expose themselves while unaware!
4. Always smile even if your smile is not real in the beginning!
5. Love goodness! Love was and is still the greatest excuse of a good life. Why do we not love what enlivens us? Are religion and faith not based on the love of good and the purity of heart?
When you decide to be humble, to love knowledge and scholars, to refrain from unlawful things, to smile at people, and to love goodness, surely you will be happy because you will then know the purpose of your existence.
Do not ignore the prayer with full concentration! If your heart is not awake while offering the prayer, your prayer will just be a series of meaningless movements. The heart is the greatest airport in your existence, so let the plane of faith land in it safely! The heart is a way to Allah; if you put other than Allah in it, it will get you nowhere.
You have to reach, with your attentive heart, a state where you feel what you say when you raise your hands and read this supplication, ‘O my Lord, to You I offer my existence which is from You.’
After these steps, you will reach a degree where you will say in your supplication as Imam Ali (a.s.) has said, ‘O my Lord, it is enough honor for me to be Your slave and enough pride for me that You are my Lord. O my Lord, You are as I like, so make me as You like!’
Dear young man, your existence is not a mistake of any one. It is the gift of Allah, the One and Only. I hope you can, by the assistance of Allah, victoriously and happily resist your melancholy and leave behind your pains and boredom. When you win, please guide the people of melancholy with you because rescuing them is a good and great deed.
