Question: Once, a dispute took place between my wife and myself about managing our marital life and our children’s affairs. She accused me of insanity. This word, instead of making me angry, has made me ponder about myself – am I really as my wife said? Would you please show the connotation of sanity that I may understand my mentality for myself and change accordingly, or I may convince my wife that I am not as she says?
The answer: I congratulate you for this liberal spirit and I wish there were more like you in our fanatic societies. The Prophet (S), who was definitely and without a doubt on the path of truth and guidance, invited the polytheists, who were on a definite path of deviation, to an open argumentation without fanaticism or omitting the argument of the other side before showing the truth. (And most surely we or you are on a right way or in manifest error).
See how the Prophet (S) made the matter of disagreement between him and the polytheists as though unresolved between guidance and deviation. Thus, he encouraged them to begin argumentation. However, in our societies, if two Muslims (or maybe two scholars) disagree, each one of them determines that he is in the truth and his opponent is in the falsehood and each one of them turns away from the other with enmity and grudge!
Dear brother, as for your question, you should be aware that sanity has some signs, most of which begin with the following don’ts:
1. Do not be inclined to violence, revenge, or transgressing against the rights of others!
2. Do not show off in your deeds!
3. Do not like despotism!
4. Do not lie!
5. Do not be lazy to spend your life idly with no aim or productivity!
6. Do not be greedy for what other people have or envy them!
7. Do not hate others, and do not fill your heart with grudge against your opponents or whoever does you wrong!
8. Do not be selfish and think yourself better than all others!
9. Do not ignore religious beliefs throughout your life!
10. Do not disperse your mind, for then your concentration on your tasks will scatter here and there!
After that, you should feel stable in your mentality and behaviors before problems, look at life positively, become hopeful of your tomorrow, and promise those whom you are responsible for a happy future. Thus, you bring yourself and your family vitality, vigor, and constructive activity.
These signs will indicate to you that your inner complexes have disappeared, and then you will live with a pure nature that will repair the condition you live in, and then you will understand your goal in this life and the duties required from you.
Dear brother, with these points, you have to prove to your wife that you are sane and you love your family, and for the sake of your family, you are ready to tolerate all difficulties in order to continue towards your goal, regardless of whether you are in difficulty or ease.
I confirm here that your not being angry with your wife when she called you insane proves that you are mentally sound, and from this point on, you must set out towards a better sanity and mentality.
source: For a Better Future