Question: I am a young man. I want to get married, but I fear that I may fall into the same predicament my brother fell in. In the beginning, his wife had good morals, but later on, her morals became bad. Many problems occurred between them until they became a bad example in the family. I do not know how to convince myself and pass over my difficult psychological state to get married and live happily!
The answer: Dear brother, with the scenes you have seen, your worry is very natural. However, you should be certain that problems are not always repeated because each person has his own independent personality if he has a will. Your will is stronger in the stage of youth, and you can take lessons from your brother’s experience. Instead of being desperate about this experiment, you can read about the successful experiments of millions of people who have gotten married and lived happily. In order to attain this happiness, you should read books about the happy marital life to learn the qualities of a good wife who can help you lead a happy life. Do not place in your mind an imaginary picture of an infallible girl who has no defect, because first, you yourself are not so, and second, there is no such a girl in this world at all. Yes, such a girl is in Paradise and her name is “Houri”.
When you determine to get married inshallah, please make note of the following points:
1. Man acquires most of his habits from the environment he lives in. Therefore, we have to excuse others as we would like others to excuse us.
2. Some disagreements that result from the differences in knowledge, beauty, health, and lineage do not harm marital happiness. This is like the differences between day and night or between the four seasons for example. One complements the other so that life continues with ultimate wisdom. Spouses, who want their life to continue happily, have to think in this way about their differences that are beyond their wills.
3. As for acquired habits that harm the marital relation, spouses have to try their best to get rid of them and to not be indifferent towards them.
source :For a Better Future