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How can a young woman trying to be modest?

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Question: I am a young woman at the university and I observe the veil. I notice certain things in my classmates that are closer to unlawfulness than to lawfulness. Some of them justify their relations with young men in the university as they will be their future husbands. It is clear that they deceive themselves with this speech. Many of them are in love with some youths and then after some time they decide to be in love with others according to their youthful fancies. Frankly, I say that the Satan whispers to me in these environments and he is about to defeat me. I do not know how to match my religion with the pressing physical needs in such an exciting environment! Would you please suggest a solution for me? It is worth mentioning that there are many other girls like myself but they are too shy to express themselves.

The answer: I will begin answering from the end of your question and say: dear sister, shyness is the strongest fort that protects chastity. A girl is precious due to her chastity, gravity, shyness, and veil. If these noble qualities are lost, the value of a girl is lost and she becomes a worthless thing even in the eyes of deceitful men. Who can accept that the partner of his life should be a girl whom the hands of other men have touched or whose charms their suspicious eyes have seen?

This thought is stronger in faithful men who have jealousy and dignity. Allah has honored woman, given her a high position, protected her with veil, and planted in her shyness to resist those who consider her as a cheap good. The corruption, which has spread everywhere and which has been planned by Zionism and its followers, has deprived girls of their shyness and made them the main source of deviation, family problems, and spouse troubles.

Woman has been preferred to man with ninety-nine portions of pleasure but Allah has granted shyness to her, as it has been mentioned in a tradition narrated from Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.). The media and the satellite TV stations, which resist the religion of Allah and fight moral values, have deprived woman of her shyness and then she has become excited, destroying the tranquility of families and bringing them numerous problems. Is it right for Muslim girls to cause this torment and destruction for the lives of young men and the lives of married men and married women?

When a university girl, from whom it is supposed that her scientific level will prevent her from doing wrong, puts off her veil and uncovers her charms, she does wrong against herself, people, and families. When she excites men’s lusts and attracts their hearts towards her, they cannot get her or they feel shy to approach her and tell the truth; therefore, their wishes and desires accumulate inside themselves, and later on their relations with their wives and children become strangled and then disagreements and quarrels take place that may end in divorce and the loss of children as often happens.

Let this unveiled girl, who does such wrongs to families, not forget that one day when she gets married to live tranquilly with her husband and children, another girl will come to influence her husband’s reason and emotions and will bring her life storms of problems. It has been mentioned in traditions, ‘As you condemn (others) you are condemned (by others).’ And this is what the imperialists want when they spread debauchery, shameful fashions, nightclubs, ballrooms, and immoral songs.

Let these girls also not forget that they do wrong towards knowledge when they excite lust in the university and school by busying the youths’ senses and their own senses and direct the attentions towards unlawful things, and then minds and hearts will have no inclination towards knowledge and its deep matters. Therefore, most university graduates are without good abilities.

Unveiledness, displaying of charms, and distracting hearts with immoralities – whether by young men or young women – are considered to be a great crime against man, family, society, religion, knowledge, and progress.

What do you think the punishment of this great crime will be on the Day of Resurrection?

The Prophet (S) of this umma, which has become detached from its religion, answers this question with his tears. Let every girl and woman who belongs to this religion ponder over the following tradition.

Imam Ali (a.s.) has said, ‘Once, Fatima and I went to the messenger of Allah (S) and found him crying bitterly. I asked, ‘O messenger of Allah, may my father and mother be sacrificed for you! What makes you cry?’

He said, ‘O Ali, on the night (of ascension) when I was ascended to the Heaven, I saw some women from my community in great torment. I denied their affair. I cried when I saw the severe torment they suffered. I saw a woman hanging by her hair while her brain was boiling. I saw another one hanging by her tongue while boiling fluid was poured onto her back. I saw another woman hanging by her breasts and another one eating her own flesh while the fire was lit under her. I saw another one with her legs and hands tied together while snakes and scorpions were set against her. I saw a blind, deaf, and dumb woman in a coffin of fire while her brain came out of her nose and her body was cut because of leprosy. I saw a woman hung by her legs in an oven of fire. I saw a woman who was cutting her flesh from behind and in front of her with scissors of fire. I saw a woman with her face and hands being burned while she was eating her intestines. I saw a woman with a head of a pig and a body of a donkey suffering a million kinds of torments. I saw a woman who was like a dog while fire entered into her back and came out of her mouth while the angels beat her head and body with bats of fire.’

Fatima (a.s.) said, ‘O dear father, would you please tell me what those women have done so that Allah has placed them in such torments?’

The Prophet (S) said, ‘Dear daughter, as for the one who was hanging by her hair, she did not cover her hair before men (in the worldly life). The one who was hanging by her tongue hurt her husband. The one who was hanging by her breasts refrained from sleeping with her husband. The one who was hanging by her legs went out of her house without her husband’s permission. The one who ate her own flesh adorned herself for men other than her husband. The one whose hands and legs were tied together and snakes and scorpions were set against her was dirty (in the worldly life) with filthy clothes and she did not make ablution after janabah37and menstruation, did not cleanse herself, and paid no attention to her prayers. The one who was blind, deaf, and dumb gave birth to children out of adultery and ascribed them to her husband. The one who cut her flesh with scissors of fire offered herself to men. The one whose face and body were burned while eating her intestines was a pimp. The one whose head resembled that of a pig and her body resembled that of a donkey was a talebearer and liar. The one who was like a dog and fire entered from her back and came out of her mouth was a singer, weeper, and envier.’

Then Imam Ali (a.s.) said commenting on the Prophet’s speech, ‘Woe unto a woman who makes her husband angry and blessed is she who makes her husband pleased with her.’

Following the Islamic rulings and good morals, reviving one’s conscience, and thinking of death and the punishment on the Day of Resurrection are motivations to keep women, men, families, and societies safe from many dangers and corruptions.

Dear sister, what you see at the university, in material societies, in bad films, in the street, at the shores, or in any other place is to test your will and your faith in your religion. The value of a man becomes higher when being tried by difficulties in these areas. So you should be patient, stick to your studies, and continue on the way to success so that you will taste the sweetness of patience and straightforwardness throughout your life for Allah will not waste the reward of the patient.

This is what you notice in this tradition reported from Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.), though it addresses males but it concerns women too. Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.) says, ‘Whoever looks at a woman and raises his sight towards the sky or closes his eyes, his sight will not come back to him until Allah will marry him to houris.’

The tradition can be read in this way “whoever looks at a young man and raises her sight towards the sky or closes her eyes her sight will not come back to her until Allah will marry her to immortal youths (who remain young).’

Of course, this will be in Paradise, which one sets out towards from the first night in the grave, but the results of that before death are comfort and peace of the heart that bring good and respect in this life whenever you remember your purity and strong will.

If we suppose that there is a faithful young woman who cannot put a moral veil between her and the young men around her, and she wants, in order to keep some things more important, to have an honest relationship with a faithful young man who can be her husband in the future, then she can agree with him to a temporary marriage agreement where they both can recite its specific formula and then they would be better satisfied with talking with each other, without being alone or sleeping together. In other words, lawful relations should be bound by a legal agreement within their pressing needs and without going farther than that, for a virgin girl may open her eyes to find that she has lost the most precious thing she has and then she will live with black memories, sadly and melancholy!

Because this possibility may also happen to a virgin girl in a temporary marriage, most of our jurisprudents have prohibited it strongly. Therefore, I do not advise you to do a temporary marriage unless you fear falling into sin, in which case some of our jurisprudents have permitted it

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