A great number of Muslim women suffer spinsterhood; what is the solution?
Question: The phenomenon of spinsterhood in Muslim countries is painful and full of grief. In Egypt for example, statistics confirm that there are three million and eight hundred thousand unmarried girls who are past thirty years in age.
Studies attribute this matter to the excessive dowries and high costs of marriage besides that there are a great number of girls who are afraid of marriage itself.
Ahmad Rif’at, a member of the Royal Society of Psychological Diseases in Britain, says that the reasons for spinsterhood are due to the competition between men and women in the field of work after the competition has been limited to men for many years. Woman now wants to prove her existence in the practical fields before she wants to participate with a man in marital life; therefore her marriage becomes delayed and marriage opportunities also decrease.
The Egyptian doctor Mahmood Abdurrahman, a specialist in psychological medicine, thinks that the reasons behind the delay in marriage are due to the conditions girls or their families make (such as excessive dowries, the number of rooms in the future house, the job of the husband, and even his shape), and also the conditions men make (such as the age of the girl and a restriction that she must not have been engaged or married before).
Dr. Muna Jad, the dean of the College of Kindergartens in Cairo, says that the problem appears due to contradictions in which the youth live that have placed the youth in a state of being torn apart and feeling unstable and unsafe. The youth live in an atmosphere of imaginary wealth like they see in some foreign films and serials. They wish to live in those societies, but unfortunately they only see the outward characteristics of those societies and not the actual characteristics there. They see the good things only and not the bad things of those societies.
Dr. Muna Jad mentions that the problems of the youth increase when they cannot get married at a suitable age. Disappointment and despair overcome them, and then they deny their society and all that is around them. In fact, some of them may commit crimes and sins because of that, and hence, they destroy themselves and all that is around them.
Your Eminence Sheikh al-Muhtadi al-Bahrani, regarding this information, what is your opinion about the phenomenon of spinsterhood?
The answer: What these scholars have mentioned is true, but the researchers must study the hidden reasons for this phenomenon, which has never been a big problem in the history of Islam.
I ask: who attracts women to work in the common fields with men? The problem originates from the minds that are separate from the Islamic mentality and have been educated with Western cultures and have come back to manage the life of the Muslims according to what those cultures inspired in them. Those cultures have all the means to make people Muslims by name only while they are very far from Islam in their behaviors of solving their psychological and social problems and their political and economical crises.
Foreign films and serials undoubtedly have a great and dangerous influence on the phenomenon of spinsterhood. The films that have been produced in Egypt are not any less in their bad influences on Muslim societies than those that have been produced in foreign studios. The Egyptian libertine films and serials have played a serious role in taking Muslims away from their Islamic values and in destroying their moral principles. These films still affect the Arabic societies and serve the imperialistic plots there. Excessive dowries, denial of polygamy, encouragement of women to prefer divorce and spinsterhood in some way or another, justification of sins and family treason, and emphasis on the material aspects and indifference to the moral aspects in the marital life are Zionist goods that have been sold out to the public by the Egyptian films and serials. It is well-known that behind the cultural attack to corrupt the youth of the Islamic umma and to distribute the products of Zionist companies, like libertine films and other such things, are great foundations, abundant capitals, and hellish plans.
Of course, I am excluding the religious serials and good films that Egypt produces although, in comparison with the bad ones, they appear as withered flowers between huge thorns.
There is no doubt that spinsterhood has political, economical, and other reasons. The companies dealing with unlawful sex and its means are the first beneficiaries of deviations resulting from spinsterhood. The politicians of this material life and of sleepless nights also are beneficiaries, and they usually have authority over the media and culture. The reasons are interlaced and spinsterhood is one of the consequences of the great deviations of the umma.
As for the cure, it ought to be considered from four sides:
First, the state, which has the greatest abilities, can direct the culture of its people toward Islamic resolutions through schools, universities, and the media, especially through films and serials. It also has the ability to prevent economical foundations and establishments from exploiting spinsterhood by restricting employment of unmarried women in cabarets, ballrooms, and studios of libertine films and in their commercial requirements.
Second, charitable organizations can play a great role in resolving the problem of spinsterhood by collecting charities from good people and giving them to the youth whose poverty prevents them from getting married. These organizations can also make use of the successful experiment of collective weddings, as do charitable organizations in some Islamic countries, where they arrange one party for the weddings of hundreds of couples.
Third, Ulama’ and preachers play an important role in convincing society of the conception of the Sharia and the sunna of the Prophet (S) concerning the matter of polygamy and how a husband must be just to all of his wives equally. Explaining moral principles and emphasizing concepts like satisfaction, avoidance of selfishness and envy, contentment with the fate of Allah and His just determinations, regard for the afterlife, and management of worldly affairs according to reason and good morals will help the society do away with the problem of spinsterhood or limit it. What gives good news though is that when the temporary marriage (missyar), that has begun to find its way among the Sunni, is practiced according to its moral conditions, it will limit spinsterhood and secret debauchery; and if the temporary marriage of the Shia is also practiced according to its legal conditions, it will solve a great part of the problem.
Fourth, psychologists can play a great positive role in persuading society of the comprehensive resolutions of Islam if they first convince themselves of those resolutions and want, sincerely, to participate in resolving the problem.
Finally, I suggest forming a committee including notables of each of these four sides to study the problem in all its dimensions and then generate suitable solutions and cooperate in implementing these solutions.