I have psychological issues that threaten my marriage; how can I solve my problems?

Question: I am afraid of the unknown and worried about the future. I feel inward turmoil and psychological instability. Can I find a remedy in religion before my marital life comes to an end?

The answer: The present makes the future. If you manage your present according to good foundations, you will build for yourself a happy future. There is no excuse for your fear if you determine and rely on Allah Who says, (And (as for) those who strive hard for Us, We will most certainly guide them in Our ways; and Allah is most surely with the doers of good)3.

Starting now, you have to spend every hour of your day in a way that pleases Allah, where if you think about your yesterdays (after your determination), you will be delighted, and this delight is the future that will make you proud of the right method you have determined to follow.

Dear brother, try to forget your painful past, your defects, and all of what hurts you psychologically! Set out towards Allah, Who grants success to whoever relies on Him, and submit to Him, and then, do not worry about any grief or distress concerning this life!

As for your marital life, you and your wife should read a lot to help you plan for a good and peaceful life.

Does he who wants to establish a successful company not read about all that concerns this aim?

You and your wife are two partners, who want to establish a happy life; therefore, you should read about all that concerns this aim.

When you follow this way, you will find in front of you your future clear and pleasant Inshallah.

source: For a Better Future

What is the opinion of Islam about the period between the engagement and the wedding?

Question: What is the opinion of Islam about the period between the engagement and the wedding? Some people make the period too long and some make it short. Both have advantages and disadvantages.

The answer: The length of the period depends on the circumstances of the spouses. However, there are some manners that must be observed during this period:

1. Hearty love, intellectual closeness, and mutual visits between the families of the two spouses to better know each other and to strengthen the relations between them are recommended.

2. They should avoid all that may hurt this blessed relation; offensive words, insults, and bad behaviors that cause hatred must be avoided. If some of this takes place accidentally from any of the spouses, they should apologize, excuse each other, and determine not to do that mistake again.

3. The spouses should read books about marital relations to learn the principles, rights, and manners of marriage.

4. They should not mistrust each other or argue over every matter.

5. The wife should learn how to manage the affairs of her new house and should convince herself of her new responsibilities. The husband also has to undertake his new responsibilities outside the house and inside the house in helping his wife as much as he possibly can.

6. During this period, the spouses should avoid doing what should be done on the night of wedding!

7. It is better to make this period short.

8. They should take care of cleaning their bodies and getting rid of unpleasant smells, especially the smell of the mouth by brushing the teeth five times before every prayer, or at least three times, before and after sleeping, and after lunch. They should use perfumes because the Prophet (S) always used perfume and he had recommended his Umma to also use it, except for women who should not use perfume except for their husbands or their mahrams in order to not incite the lusts of others.

source: For a Better Future

What is the opinion of Islam about singing and dancing in wedding ceremonies?

Question: What is the opinion of Islam about singing and dancing in wedding ceremonies? The opinions of people are contrary; some say it is lawful while others say it is unlawful.

The answer: In Islam, they are unlawful. The Prophet (S) has said, ‘Allah has sent me as mercy to people, and to eradicate musicals, pipes, and the habits of the pre-Islamic era (jahiliyyah).’1 It is because play, amusement, and singing do not meet with the aims of mercy, worship, and closeness to Allah.

Jurisprudents have agreed that during the night of the wedding, singing poetry with good and polite meanings is lawful, especially if it has praises of the Prophet (S) and his progeny. Some jurisprudents have permitted classical and quiet dancing, which is not mixed (between men and women) and which does not excite lust.

This exception (in permitting singing and dancing) is limited to weddings. Abu Baseer narrated, ‘Once, I asked Abu Abdullah (Imam as-Sadiq) (a.s.) about the income of a songstress (the money she gains for singing) and he said, ‘It is unlawful for one, to whom men come, but there is no problem for the one, who is invited to weddings.’2

The wisdom in this exception is that Islam has made a distinction between marriage and adultery. Since adultery is done without the presence of people, Islam has intended for marriage to be performed openly and with attractive sound so that people can recognize this new marital relation between these two persons.

Many arguments have taken place between jurisprudents about the new methods in the world of singing and music. Many of them have considered singing and music unlawful because they cause many bad consequences. From the instruments of music and amusement, which incite lust, unlawful behaviors begin besides the bad poetry used in songs and the mixing between men and women until major sins are committed. Then, no excuse will remain for the angels to attend and bless that marriage.

Those who try to close their eyes to these unlawful doings under demonstrations of istihsan (approval) and assent have ignored that Islam wants weddings to be performed in spiritual and moral spheres fitting the principles of Islam and not the desires of the disease-hearted people who imitate the corruptive methods of the West.

We disagree with using instruments of amusements to turn weddings, which are acts of worship, to a stage of unlawful doings and behaviors. We reject the inviting of the Satan and the preventing of the angels to attend this honorable occasion.

The believers, who desire to be free from bad deeds until the Day of Resurrection, should avoid all that is performed by bad and disobedient people in their weddings, and thus they will be kept away from those upon whom Allah has brought His wrath.

Let us think about it in this way: would any of our infallible Imams (a.s.) attend a wedding in which singing and dancing were practiced if he were invited to it?

If we suppose that we are in the age of the reappearance of Imam al-Mahdi (a.s.) and he is amongst us now, what will he think about our behaviors in the wedding?

Come! Let us make this faith in the unseen and our love for the Ahlul Bayt (a.s.) the criterion of our behaviors on the occasions of joy so that Allah may bless these occasions for us.

We hope that the believers adhere to the limits of Islam and do not follow the Satan who wants them to fall in his traps and lose the blessings of weddings, which are from the Sunna of the Prophet (S) and the recommendable acts that are semi-obligatory.

source: For a Better Future

What should we do about people who sleep too much?

Question: The idle youth waste their time in sleeping too much. They sleep with no alarm clock. What is the solution for such people?

The answer: They should read the following verses of poetry and come to a decision:

“O you, who sleep too much and are indifferent,
too much sleeping brings regret.
In the grave, when you enter into it,
there will be a long sleep after death,
and a bed of sins or good deeds you have done
will wait for you there.”

The holy traditions warn of too much sleeping. The Prophet (S) said, ‘Beware of too much sleeping, because it leaves its friend poor on the Day of Resurrection.’

Imam al-Baqir (a.s.) said in a Qudsi73 tradition that Prophet Moses (a.s.) had said, ‘O my Lord, which of Your people is the most odious to You? Allah said, ‘Carrion (sleeping) in the night and idle in the day.’

Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.) said, ‘Allah hates much sleeping and much idleness.’ He also said, ‘Much sleeping wastes religion and life.’

The youth should create jobs for themselves or spend their spare time in reading and acquiring good information and memorizing the suras of the Holy Qur’an because the Qur’an lights the heart and life. Whoever learns in his youth will make use of his knowledge when he grows up. The old learn nothing if they missed leaning in their youth.

Islam has not left the need of sleeping to man without directing it with special manners that give man a comfortable sleep and make him active in getting up. Here are some of these manners to be observed before going to bed:

1. Man should go to bed after cleansing himself from sweat and unpleasant smells.

2. He should perform wudu’.

3. He should go to the W.C. and relieve himself.

4. He should recite some Qur’anic verses and some supplications, especially the sura of Ikhlas (112) or al-Hashr (59) or at-Takathur (102) or all of them, and say what the Prophet (S) used to say, ‘O my Lord, if You take my soul in my sleep, forgive it, and if You set it free, keep it safe as You keep Your good people.’

5. He should not sleep on his face and abdomen because it is the sleep of the Satan and is harmful to the self and body. The believers sleep on their backs or right sides except if there is an excuse.

6. When lying, instead of thinking of what is of no benefit, Islam invites man to criticize himself on what he has done during his day. Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.) said, ‘When you go to your bed, think of what you have done in your day and remember that you will die and will be resurrected to be punished.’

7. Huthayfa narrated, ‘When the Prophet (S) went to bed, he said, ‘In Your name O Allah, I die and live’ and when he awoke, he said, ‘Praise be to Allah, Who enlivened us after he has made us die, and to Him is the resurrection.’

Dear brother, go to bed early and avoid evenings full of play and amusement, and awake early to find all good before you; good health, livelihood, activity, and vitality. The moment you awaken from your sleep, you will understand what you have read in the previous lines about the disadvantages of too much sleeping and about the manners of sleeping. If you understand this, you will awake at the required time. Recite this supplication before you sleep to awake at the time you want: “O my Lord, do not make me forget Your mention, do not make me feel safe from Your affliction, and do not make me one of the indifferent!’

source: For a Better Future

How can I handle severe unhappiness and desperation?

desperation-642x250

Question: O sheikh, I am complaining about my life; my nerves are below zero and I am very worried about my end.

The answer: Dear brother, my reflections have taught me that the reason behind 90% of the cases of anger in people of all levels is disappointment in their ambitions and wishes. The opposite is true too. Most of the people who are interested in life are those who either have not been disappointed, have no hopes tickling their emotions, or they have believed in Allah sincerely and submitted to Him in everything, and so Allah has granted them satisfaction with everything, and this is the true submission, which is the essence of Islam. Thus, I know how faith has lofty values and how Islam has many solutions for angry faces and furious souls. So we have to hasten towards the solutions of Islam before anger burns what remains of faith in us.

As a remedy, I suggest to you four things:

1. Prostration: it is the placing of the most honorable position of the body (forehead) on the soil. Do you know why? It is because one who prostrates himself ascends to the higher positions of Heaven with his loftiest spiritual beliefs.

2. You should know that if your moral sense is suspended, your five senses would never get you to the bliss of Paradise.

3. People are free. They choose either Paradise or Hell by themselves. The decision is yours.

4. Visit the graves, ponder on their inhabitants, and remember that their ambitions have ended with their ends. Take lessons from them and return to your life to make your end good!

source: For a Better Future

Why do people suffer and die from things like cancer? How can we handle the suffering and loss of a loved one?

160205113645-02-lovestory-super-169Question: The death of my lover, who has left this world after a severe and painful struggle with cancer, has hurt me too much. I have been melancholy and desperate of life after the death of one of my friends. In your opinion, what are the reasons for this horrible disease?

The answer: It is said that the Greek doctor (Galen) two thousand years ago was the first one who tried to ascertain the relation between cancer and the qualities that cause man to become afflicted with this malignant disease.

In a research by some British doctors in 1802 A.D., this question was posed, ‘Is there a relationship between man’s morals and natures and this malignant disease?’

In 1864, Doctor Walter H. Walsh wrote in his response to the previous question, ‘Sensitive persons, who suffer from spiritual pressures, prepare for themselves a ground for cancer.’

Thirteen years later, Doctor Grendon presented his theory by saying, ‘Worry and griefs have a great effect in afflicting one with cancer.’

In 1870, Doctor Sir J. Pajet wrote, ‘Despair and lack of hope help cancer to grow. There is no doubt that melancholy is the most serious cause of this disease.’

After some years, Doctor Penny Brhn performed some experiments and classified the patients of cancer into three classes:

1. Those who help others, but no one helps them or appreciates their efforts.

2. Those who find it difficult to reject needy people, and thus they become sad for not being able to satisfy the needs of people who ask them for help.

3. Those who feel meanness and do not have self-confidence.

Scientific centers conclude that failure in marital life, losing one’s job, insolvency, heavy debts, and the like bring man worry and psychological upset and pave the way for cancer. However, it is not necessary that these things will definitely cause cancer, but in most cases, it is so.

Many times, one becomes afflicted with cancer because of a defect in his defensive cells from childhood, as Doctor Jung thinks. He adds that one who is psychologically suppressed in his childhood has a fertile ground for cancer.

The American doctor Lawarene Le Shan, who is a specialist in cancer, says, ‘We must know what we want in life, and then we can carry out what we want with a strong will and determination. This requires us to know how to live healthily and enjoy our bodily powers to achieve what we want in life…cancer destroys life; therefore, we must learn how to protect ourselves from it. Then, let us avoid all that paves the way for cancer.’

Consequently, what are the means of protection?

1. Let us learn self-confidence. When the body and the soul become strong with self-confidence, they give one the ability to resist diseases.

2. Let us be kind and friendly because a man’s soul is thirsty for cordiality.

3. Let us assign certain times for (lawful) amusement.

4. Let us toil for good aims and not waste our ages in trivialities.

5. Let us regard our feelings and the feelings of those around us. This is a bridge to mutual understanding.

6. Let us busy ourselves with what we like and stick to it.

7. Let us have good food, avoid too much oil, and eat a lot of vegetables and fruits.

8. Let us not ignore vitamins and minerals in our meals.

9. Let us have good morals, be merry and sportive, and submit to the Merciful Creator in all our affairs.

10. Let us hold religious meetings and participate in the meetings of others, whether meetings of joy or sorrow, because social relations take man out of fatal isolation.

Finally, O our Lord, we seek your protection from any disease…O You, Whose name is a remedy and Whose mention is a healing, send as many blessings on Muhammad and his progeny as there are diseases and remedies, recover our patients, and have mercy on our dead; You are able to do whatever You like!

How can religious youth protect their faith?

protect2Question: We are seven brothers and sisters. Our father and mother are religious and we are like them. Praise be to Allah! A few days ago, I was listening to a lecture by one of the Ulama’, in which he divided people into four classifications: Some are religious in their youth and they continue so until the end of their lives. These are the happiest of people. Some are dissolute in their youth and then they are guided until the end of their lives. These people are happy, but less than the first ones. Some are religious in their youth but then they become dissolute and spend their lives in debauchery and deviations. These are the losers. Some are dissolute from the beginning until the end of their lives. These are wretched and the worst of losers. It is a nice speech, but how can I preserve my and my brothers’ and sisters’ religiousness so we can be from the first kind and not let the Satan deprive us of our religion?

The answer: Blessed be you and blessed be your parents who have fed you with faith and guidance!

Know that you are among those on whom Allah prides Himself before the angels and says to them, ‘Look at my slave! He has abstained from his lust for the sake of Me.’

It is sufficient for you that Allah is proud of you. Continue on your way to get the eternal bliss of Paradise!

I remember a family I was acquainted with in Denmark in 1991 AD. They had emigrated from Iran fifty years ago, and they still continued their religiousness there. The father told me that he, his wives, and children continually offered the Night Prayer. This conduct, in the midst of corruption in Denmark, is quite difficult to attain. Blessed be they and their likes everywhere!

The practical way of continuing in righteousness, about which you asked, is being continuously supplied with intellectual and spiritual energy besides being careful not to let the self slip here or there, through the following lights:

The first light is that you have to remember, always, these traditions with the questions that follow them:

1. The Prophet (S) said, ‘Any young man who abstains from this life and its pleasures for the sake of Allah, and spends his youth in obeying (worshipping) Allah, Allah will give him a reward of seventy-two veracious persons’68.

Do you want to prevent yourself from this great reward?

2. The Prophet (S) said, ‘The most beloved one to Allah the Almighty is a handsome young man who devotes his youth and beauty to the obedience of Allah. Of such a young man the Beneficent is proud before His angels and says: this is My real slave.’

Do you want to prevent yourself from this pride of the Beneficent?

3. The Prophet (S) says, ‘Allah loves the young man who spends his youth in obeying Him.’

Do you want to prevent yourself from this love?

4. The Prophet (S) says, ‘The preference of a young man who worships Allah in his youth to an old man who worships after he becomes old is like the preference of the prophets to the rest of people.’

Do you want to prevent yourself from this preference? Certainly not!

With these motives, you can continue in your religiousness. Do not follow the steps of the Satan, do not approach them, and do not think of them even out of curiosity because this may incite you to a dangerous slip. In the first instance, the Satan invites to unlawful things by means of curiosity, and then after sometime, he invites you and says: ‘all right, pray to Allah to forgive you after your sin! Does Allah not forgive all sins?’ In these deceitful ways, the Satan induces man and then laughs at him.

The second light is that you have to read about the qualities of the pious. Imam Ali (S) has mentioned these qualities to his Companion Humam in one of his speeches. It is one of the most wonderful educational speeches, which is full of spirituality, encouragement, and energy towards righteousness.

The third light is, besides regular worships, to hasten to do good deeds! Carrying out the needs of people and helping the poor and needy keep one firm in faith and certainty and this is the best thing Allah wants from His good people. Contrary to what some people believe, that religiousness and worshipping are realized in complete isolation, Islam believes “the best people are those who are the best to people and sincerest to all Muslims.70”

The fourth light is to know righteousness has a special spirit that survives with the following items: “Knowing Allah and being humble before him, continuous pondering over the greatness of Allah, asking Allah for forgiveness, sincerity, abstinence, giving up bad habits, asceticism, jurisprudence, reason, prudence, giving the rights of people back to them, keeping silent, supplication, and abstaining from the unlawful looking”.

You have to establish these qualities inside your soul to continue in the straight path.

The fifth light is, if you commit a sin, you have to immediately repent and pray to Allah to forgive you. You should well know that Allah loves young men who repent. In fact, there is nothing more beloved to Allah than a young man who repents, and nothing is more odious to Him than a man who becomes old while he still commits sins indifferently.

Finally, I pray to Allah to make you continue in your faith and not to let the blame of others weaken your determination. It is mentioned in the traditions that one day Prophet Abraham (a.s.) saw a white hair in his beard and said, ‘Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds, Who has made me live till now while I have not disobeyed Him a bit.’

My mother has behaviors which lead to quarrels in her marriage that affect the whole family. What can we do?

mother-scolding_wide-7314ce6a77cadbdefdfac61ac7a2afe5510dc6c0-s900-c85Question: My mother always acts opposite to my father’s wishes. She always likes to change the decoration of the house, the furniture, and the like. In fact, she likes to change the house itself, the car, and so on. This matter has become a cause of daily quarrels between my father and mother. We have been victims of these clamors. We are tired of this state. Would you please show us a solution to this problem? We will be grateful!

The answer: It is necessary, before showing our practical suggestions, to emphasize that solving some problems is done by adapting oneself to them until time puts ends to them. It is important for a person to protect himself from being affected by the harms of a problem until it disappears. This is the patience that Islam has recommended and for which Allah has promised a reward.

As for the solutions to such a problem, they are of two kinds: the first kind is directed to the cause of the problem (that is your father and mother here) and the other is directed to those affected by the problem in the house (that is you and those with you).

As for the first kind, we would like to say to parents that a joint life requires carrying out the desires of the partner, if it has no harm. And even if it is a harmful desire, it should be compared with the harms of selfishness and insistence of one’s opinion, and then the less harmful of the two is preferred. On the other hand, the one who wants to change, or not to change, the decoration has to show his/her motives and convince the other partner as long as the matter concerns him/her too. This one has to declare the advantages of his/her idea and the disadvantages if it is not carried out, while keeping in mind that these advantages or disadvantages concern all of the members of the family.

This method of concern for the beliefs of others produces mutual respect between them, strengthens family relations, and increases their closeness and love to each other. This leads to an increase in the level of success in study and work, and consequently it brings happiness.

As for the second kind, I recommend you to discuss the matter with your mother instead of resisting her or ignoring her desires. Try to discuss with her the disadvantages of continuous changes (of decorations and furniture), which can cause fatigue and illness.

Moreover, you have to keep her interested in some thing else in order to not do what will disturb the members of the family. Also you have to convince your father to permit some required changes from time to time, as long as they are without excess or waste.

Can faith be spread today in spite of the inundation of temptations?

faithQuestion: Weakness of faith and beliefs has become widespread in our age. Our aged fathers and mothers say that faith in the past was stronger. Do you think it is possible to spread faith nowadays alongside this great corruption and means of deviation which have entered everywhere, even inside our homes via the TV, video, and internet?

The answer: When one knows that believing in Allah brings tranquility and ease to the heart, which in return cause success and happiness, one’s life becomes pleasant and happy.

When one sincerely and definitely believes that Allah protects and assists him, and when he knows that belief in Allah invites him to mention Allah and that the words of remembrance bring tranquility to his heart, which is the basis of every success, then he knows the worth of religion and keeps away from corruption. He will ask himself: if living under the shadow of faith makes me, my family, and my society happy and makes love and cooperation spread amongst us, then why should I choose to live under the opposite shadow?

Yes! Being religious in the irreligious atmosphere that is widespread is difficult. A religious person faces contempt and insults and suffers much in resisting them and continuing on the straight path. He feels pain and sorrow for the deviants and scorners. However, he becomes more resistant whenever he wins a fight, and this is what delights him and encourages him to continue on the straight path, especially when he remembers the blessings, pleasures, and rewards he will have in Paradise.

When one plants a seed into soil, it does not grow and bear fruits except after much care. Such is said about the sperm. When a father puts his sperm into the womb of the mother, a healthy child is not produced except after attending to all conditions.

A seed needs care and patience, and a sperm also requires care and patience. Does not a believer also need patience so that his faith will bear fruits? However, his faith bears fruits every day in this life in one way or another.

I say the same thing concerning your child. His heart will not open for faith except after efforts, patience, and care.

Parents are responsible for planting faith in their children’s hearts through making friends with them, showing them love and kindness, kissing them, embracing them, playing with them, listening to their speech, and explaining to them what is right and what is wrong. Parents will harvest what they sow in their children. If there is any mistake, parents should blame no one but themselves.

If these facts and their advantages are known, obstacles in the way of true faith can be removed by man himself. Then, he will dislike anything that takes him away from these facts and their advantages. A real believer does not let the television, video, or internet – if they are means of corruption and vices that may weaken his faith and lead him to the path of wretchedness and grief – destroy his future or his children’s future.

Is it acceptable for a reasonable person to leave his children, who he loves more than himself, in the middle of diseases that will afflict their souls and bodies and lead them to the fire of Hell?

Hence, parents have to plant religion in their children from their early years in a wise and successful way lest they deviate later on.

The pure nature in children remains pure if parents undertake their responsibility from the first day. Nature was and is still the object, on which prophets, reformers, and all good people depend in their tasks of reform. Without the divine nature in man, no one can take people from the darkness of deviation into the light of faith. It is a great mistake to be desperate of guiding people. If the prophets and the saints were desperate, faith would never move to people after them. Whatever corruption prevails, it disappears because it is the falsehood that vanishes when the truth comes. Let us bear the mission of the truth and trust in the assistance of Allah. It is the test by which the faithful are tried.

The injustice and corruption we see in our time are not exclusive to our age only. The ancient ages had worse than this as we read in the Qur’an and the books of history, but Allah always supports His faithful people. In fact, our age is better than most of the past ages in many ways such as the spread of faith and faithful people all over the world, the establishment of mosques, Islamic centers, libraries, and presses, and also the increase of religious people and clergymen. Hence, despair has no place inside the souls of faithful people who carry out their legal duties and who whenever they rely on Allah, Allah supplies them with courage and power with which they defeat the means of corruption and deviation and use this power and courage in guiding people and reforming defects.

Although we acknowledge the corruption that has appeared in the land and sea because of corruptive means, which are the modern hands of corrupt people and enemies of religion, we do not acknowledge the impossibility of reform and education, and we do not give in. Man has to act sincerely and then Allah will support him to achieve success. If we are sincere to Allah, we plant guidance firmly in our children’s hearts, and then we carry out our legal duty for which Allah rewards us. Allah says, (And nothing devolves on us but a clear deliverance (of the message)).

source :For a Better Future

How can we address the modern epidemic of depression?

Young man sitting looking upset

Question: As you know, melancholy is the disease of this age. Psychological clinics are full of sick persons whom melancholy has thrown out of the circle of life.
I have a melancholy, introvert father. He is forty years old but he seems to be seventy years old. This matter has troubled our family life. I am fifteen years old but I do not know the reasons that have made my father so. Does Islam have solutions that can be depended on to save such sick people? Would you please answer in details, because there are many people like me who wait for this answer?

The answer: Islam has solutions for everything. It has declared the cure of melancholy and its like and emphasized, before that, on prevention. Here, I summarize The answer’s in five points:

First, the traditions of the Prophet (S) and the infallible Imams (a.s.) have referred to “melancholy” as “grief” and “distress”. They have warned the Muslims of it by saying, ‘He, whose grief increases, his body becomes sick’, ‘Grief is half of senility’, and ‘Grief is the disease of mentality’.

Boredom, distemper, lack of appetite for food, physical and psychological weaknesses, insomnia, instability, absentmindedness, pessimism, fatigue, feeling of guilt, inactivity, not feeling joy in the beautiful scenes of nature or other material pleasures, neglecting one’s health, and paying no attention to life, which are qualities found in melancholy people, have been mentioned in the traditions with certain expressions.

Second, there is a close relationship between melancholy and the culture of the individual and that of the society. Some religious and social cultures lead to melancholy through their tragic literary works, sad music, and crying as it is widespread in the Eastern countries. As for the Western societies, the culture of disengagement from family connections leads one towards melancholy when he finds himself alone with no one to participate with him in his joys and sorrows. Therefore, we find that suicide rates are on an increase in the Western countries, which do not care for family connections, while in Japan, where family relations and connections are strong, the ratio of suicide is very low, whereas religious and rural societies are the least afflicted with melancholy and acts of suicide.

As for religious societies, it is so because religion prohibits suicide and considers it as a crime of murder, whose recompense is being in Hell forever. Moreover, religion satisfies man’s sentiments and his spiritual needs, which give him a power to adapt himself to changes and stimulates in him positive motives that resist melancholy.

Third, the reasons for melancholy must be understood. These reasons are not the same for all people. Each one is different from the other. For example, the reason for melancholy of someone may be the lack of love and sympathy and for another may be the accumulation of psychological pains, remorse after committing a sin, disappointment, the death of a lover, emigration and being away from one’s family and relatives, a great financial loss, or poverty and neediness.

Fourth, what is the successful cure for this disease?

Modern psychological clinics have depended, in curing this disease, on the tranquilizing tablets of Valium or other gladdening drugs, while some other clinics prefer electrical shocks. All these cures are rejected by the Islamic clinic, which depends on prevention initially and then on cure54.

For curing this disease, Islam prescribes the following:

1. Take a bath with cool water, and especially pour it over the head; Imam Ali (a.s.) says, ‘Whoever has grief that he is unable to identify, let him wash his head.55’

2. Wash the clothes and remove bad smells, which means cleanliness in general; Imam Ali (a.s.) says, ‘Washing one’s clothes takes away grief and sorrow.56’

3. Mention Allah a lot, especially by saying “there is no power save in Allah”; the Prophet (S) says, ‘saying “there is no power save in Allah” has a cure for ninety-nine illnesses, the least of which is grief.57’ Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.) says, ‘If grief increases, you should mention “there is no power save in Allah.58”’

4. Eat grapes, as mentioned in the traditions of the Prophet (S) and the infallible imams (a.s.)59.

Fifth, protection is the most important way to prevent melancholy and introversion. Islam has established constructive teachings to prevent any negative state that may destroy man’s comfort and happiness. Islam first establishes belief inside man and then strengthens that faith inside him to reach a degree where he becomes certain of the wisdom of Allah and becomes satisfied with the fate Allah has determined.

The Prophet (S) says, ‘Allah, with His wisdom and favor, has made comfort and joy in certainty and satisfaction, and made grief and sorrow in suspicion and dissatisfaction.60’

A real believer sees the causes of melancholy trivial especially when he recites this Qur’anic verse, (it may be that you dislike a thing while Allah has placed abundant good in it)61.

A real believer does not envy others because he knows that “envy eats faith as fire eats firewood”. Imam Ali (a.s.) says, ‘I have not seen an unjust one who is more similar to the wronged than one who envies: continuous panting, upset heart, and endless sorrow.62’ A real believer dose not look for the material pleasures of this life because he has read the Islamic concept about this worldly life as “it deceives, destroys, and passes away.63’

A real believer has to submit to the saying of Imam as-Sadiq (a.s.), ‘Loving the worldly life causes grief and sorrow, and abstaining from it causes comfort of the heart and the body.64’

A real believer does not pant after the lust that is in the back of his mind and refrains from pondering over it because he has read the warning of the Prophet (S), ‘A lust of a moment may bring a long sorrow’65.

Hence, a real believer protects himself lest he fall into melancholy. This is the vigilance of faith that leads to protection and safety from melancholy and its like.

Dear brother, you have to read this answer to your father and tell him:

1. Believe in Allah and work with the hope of arriving at the bliss of Paradise because this makes man patient with the difficulties of life!

2. Be active and do not be lazy!

3. Not committing a mistake is not a reason for great pride; rather, great pride lies in getting out of the mistake.

4. Dear father, stand on your feet to light your way and the way of others because an inverted candle does not light!

5. Have you pondered on flowers and smelt their fragrances? If there are no flowers in life, the scenes of beauty will be incomplete!

6. Happiness is a gift from Allah. Why do you not raise your hands towards the Heaven to receive this gift?

Finally, tell him frankly that worry, upset, fear and melancholy take him away from Allah; therefore, he has to do remembrance of Allah and be close to Him to be free from all those psychological diseases! Tell him: Come on! Forget the past and change your state and our state for the best by the assistance of Allah!