April, 2016 - BYISLAM

What is Allah’s Favorite Form of Hijab for a Muslim Woman?

April 24, 2016/in Ladies, Lifestyle /by amin edrisi

Islam has strongly emphasized the concept of decency and modesty in the interaction between members of the opposite sex. Dress code is part of that overall teaching. There are two verses in the Qur’an in which Almighty Allah talks about the issue of decency and hijab as defined earlier.

The First Verse

In Chapter 24 known as an-Nur (the Light), in verse 30, Allah commands Prophet Muhammad as follows:

قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِيْنَ يَغُضُّوْا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَ يَحْفَظُوْا فُرُوْجَهُمْ, ذَلِكَ أَزْكَى لَهُمْ.

“Say to the believing men that: they should cast down their glances and guard their private parts (by being chaste). This is better for them.”

This is a command to Muslim men that they should not lustfully look at women (other than their own wives); and in order to prevent any possibility of temptation, they are required to cast their glances downwards. This is known as “hijab of the eyes”.

Then in the next verse, Allah commands the Prophet to address the women:

قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ وَ يَحْفَظْنَ فُرُوْجَهُنَّ…

“Say to the believing women that: they should cast down their glances and guard their private parts (by being chaste)…”

This is a similar command as given to the men in the previous verse regarding “hijab of the eyes”.

This hijab of eyes is similar to the teaching of Jesus where he says, “You have heard that it was said by them of old time, you shall not commit adultery. But I say unto you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.”

So if you see a Muslim casting his/her eyes downwards when he/she is talking to a member of opposite sex, this should not be considered as rude or an indication of lack of confidence — he/she is just abiding by the Qur’anic as well as Biblical teaching.

* * * * *

After “hijab of the eyes” came the order describing the dress code for women:

وَ لاَ يُبْدِيْنَ زِيْنَتَهُنَّ إِلاَّ مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَ لْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلىَ جُيُوْبِهِنَّ…

“…and not display their beauty except what is apparent, and they should place their khumur over their bosoms…”

There are two issues about this sentence.

(1) What is the meaning of “khumur” used in this verse?

Khumur خُمُرٌ is plural of khimarخِمَارٌ , the veil covering the head. See any Arabic dictionary like Lisanu ’l-‘Arab, Majma‘u ’l-Bahrayn or al-Munjid.

Al-Munjid, which is the most popular dictionary in the Arab world, defines al-khimar as “something with which a woman conceals her head —ما تغطى به المرأة رأسها .” Fakhru ’d-Din al-Turayhi in Majma‘u ’l-Bahrayn (which is a dictionary of Qur’anic and hadith terms) defines al-khimar as “scarf, and it is known as such because the head is covered with it.”

So the word khimar, by definition, means a piece of cloth that covers the head.

(2) Then what does the clause “placing the khumur over the bosoms” mean?

According to the commentators of the Qur’an, the women of Medina in the pre-Islamic era used to put their khumur over the head with the two ends tucked behind and tied at the back of the neck, in the process exposing their ears and neck. By saying that, “place the khumur over the bosoms,” Almighty Allah ordered the women to let the two ends of their headgear extend onto their bosoms so that they conceal their ears, the neck, and the upper part of the bosom also.

This is confirmed by the way the Muslim women of the Prophet’s era understood this commandment of Almighty Allah. The Sunni sources quote Ummu ’l-mu’minin ‘A’isha, the Prophet’s wife, as follows: “I have not seen women better than those of al-Ansar (the inhabitants of Medina): when this verse was revealed, all of them got hold of their aprons, tore them apart, and used them to cover their heads…”

The meaning of khimar and the context in which the verse was revealed clearly talks about concealing the head and then using the loose ends of the scarf to conceal the neck and the bosom. It is absurd to believe that the Qur’an would use the word khimar (which, by definition, means a cloth that covers the head) only to conceal the bosom with the exclusion of the head! It would be like saying to put on your shirt only around the belly or the waist without covering the chest!

Finally the verse goes on to give the list of the mahram – male family members in whose presence the hijab is not required, such as the husband, the father, the father-in-law, the son(s), and others.

The Second Verse

In Chapter 33 known as al-Ahzab, verse 59, Allah gives the following command to Prophet Muhammad:

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ, قُلْ لأَزْوَاجِكَ وَ بَنَاتِكَ وَ نِسآءِ الْمُؤْمِنِيْنَ: يُدْنِيْنَ عَلَيْهِنَّ مِنْ جَلاَبِيْبِهِنَّ…

“O Prophet! Say to your wives, your daughters, and the women of the believers that: they should let down upon themselves their jalabib.”

What is the meaning of “jalabib”?

Jalabib جَلاَبِيْبٌ is the plural of jilbab جِلْبَابٌ , which means a loose outer garment. See any Arabic dictionary like Lisanu ’l-‘Arab, Majma‘u ’l-Bahrayn or al-Munjid.

Al-Munjid, for instance, defines jilbab as “the shirt or a wide dress—القميص أو الثوب الواسع.” While al-Turayhi, in Majma‘u ’l-Bahrayn, defines it as “a wide dress, wider than the scarf and shorter than a robe, that a woman puts upon her head and lets it down on her bosom…”

This means that the Islamic dress code for women does not only consist of a scarf that covers the head, the neck and the bosom; it also includes the overall dress that should be long and loose.

So, for instance, the combination of a tight, short sweater with tight-fitting jeans with a scarf over the head does not fulfill the requirements of the Islamic dress code.

Source: “Hijab, the Muslim Women’s Dress, Islamic or Cultural?” written by Sayyid Muhammad Rizvi

What Should a Muslim Couple Do in their Wedding Night?

April 18, 2016/in Lifestyle, Relations Between Couples /by amin edrisi

The concept of marriage in Islam is so sacred and valued, that it is narrated from the Prophet the doors of Allāh (SwT)’s mercy are open on this great night. This night has its own etiquettes and manners as following:

Refrain from having the °Aqd or wedding during Qamar Dar Akrab – when the moon is passing through the phase of Scorpio.

Refrain from having the °Aqd or wedding outdoors, under the sunlight.

It is recommended that the °Aqd and wedding take place at night.

Try to be in Wuďū for as much of the night as possible, and especially during the time of doing the actions below .

Begin by praising Allāh (SwT), then say Allāhu Akbar (أللهُ أكَبر), followed by a Ŝalawāt (أللهم صلى على محمّد و آل محمّد).

Recite a two Rak°at Ŝalāt, with the intention of ‘Mustaĥab Qurbatan IlAllāh (SwT)’ [a recommended prayer, seeking the pleasure of Allāh (SwT)], followed by a Ŝalawāt.

Recite the following Du°ā, followed by a Ŝalawāt. First the groom should recite it, after which the bride should say: Ilāhī Amīn [May Allāh (SwT) accept this].

“O Allāh (SwT)! Bless me with her affection, love and her acceptance of me; and make me pleased with her, and bring us together in the best form of a union and in absolute harmony; surely You like lawful things and dislike unlawful things.”

Even if a couple are not intending to conceive on the wedding night, it is recommended that the following Du°ās are recited for righteous children (whenever they are conceived):

The groom should then place his right palm on the bride’s forehead facing Qibla and recite:

“O Allāh! I have taken her as Your trust and have made her lawful for myself by Your words. Therefore, if you have decreed for me a child from hver, then make him/her blessed and pious from among the followers of the family of Muĥammad; and do not let the Satan have any part in him/her.”

The following Du°ā should also be recited:

“O Allāh! I have made her lawful for myself with Your words, and I have taken her in Your trust. O Allāh! Make her fertile and devoted.”

The groom should wash the bride’s feet and sprinkle that water in all the four corners of the room and house. Allāh (SwT) will remove 70,000 types of poverty, 70,000 types of blessings will enter the house and 70,000 blessings will come upon the bride and groom. The bride will be safe from insanity, ulcers and leprosy.

It is not necessary that consummation of the marriage take place on the wedding night; rather it may take a few days or even a few weeks.

Fatigue, nervousness and tension may make it harder; therefore it is important that husband and wife take time to get comfortable with each other and move at their own pace.

Artificial lubrication may be needed for the first few days or weeks in order to make consummation easier and more enjoyable.

Early or premature ejaculation may be a problem for the first few times; however, this should eventually be resolved after time and experience.

The hymen may or may not bleed. Foreplay, gentleness and intercourse again soon after can help reduce the pain of the tearing of the hymen.

After consummation (whenever it may be), the bride should not have milk, vinegar, coriander, sour apple or melon for a week, as they cause the womb to dry up and become cold and barren.

People may make certain comments over the next few days. It is important not to let this affect you, and not to get drawn in to their conversations.

Don’t talk about your intimate details to outsiders; maintain respect of your spouse and your relationship.

Source:
“From Marriage to Parenthood The Heavenly Path”
Written by Abbas and Shahin Merali

40 Points a Muslim Parent Should Never Forget

April 17, 2016/in home, Infants and Teenagers, Lifestyle /by amin edrisi

Give gifts to your daughter(s) first.
Play with your children.

Do not hit your child when they cry.

Kiss your child.

By saying Salām to your child, build their sense of personality and character.

Do not ridicule the actions of your child, nor call them silly.

Do not order or forbid your child too much, as this emboldens them and leads to rebellious behavior when older.

Build your children’s characters by respecting them.

Keep your promises.

For the sexual training of children, the parents must first teach their children not to enter their bedroom without asking permission.

Spoiling a child creates weakness, and a lack of will and determination.

Nothing silences the sense of self-trust in a child more than forcing him to do things they may not have the capability of doing.

Pray for your children, both during pregnancy and afterwards.

Reminders and requests should be given with gentleness and softness so as not to create a barrier between parents and child.

If your child is respected, he/she is less likely to rebel against the rules of the house.

A good role model is someone who adjusts their children’s desires wisely and with the correct techniques.

Foster the faith of your child.

Stay away from wrist-grabbing and bossy behavior with children.

One of the duties of parents is to foster the innate nature of telling the truth in children.

Do not use fear as a method of raising your child, as this causes damage to their personality and leads to psychological problems

Cuddling and kissing a child is one of their soul-foods, and it is necessary that enough of this is given to them.

Parents have a responsibility to make their children understand the indecency of sin and create an aversion for people who partake in this, and likewise, to reproach the bad and encourage the child’s good actions.

The beds of children of 6 years and above should be separated from each other, even if they are both daughters or both sons.

As well as the natural characteristics that the child inherits from his or he parents, the environment and Nurture of the child have a profound effect.

There should be a difference in the order and expectations of the behavior of a child inside the home, and out; At home, allow the child to play freely.

Always bear the unexpected behavior of your child to a limit and do not always take the mistakes of your child to be unforgivable, so that you are not always compelled to punish.

When instructing your child, don’t mention the names of other children constantly, or compare them with others.

Stories are a useful and important method of encouraging good qualities and characteristics, and discouraging bad ones, such as the rights of friends, faith, etc.

The mischievousness of your child in the early years is a sign of increased intelligence in the older years, so you shouldn’t be too worried or punish it too much.

Make your children perform Ŝalāt from 7 years, and fast from 9 years, either half day or more or less, depending on their abilities.

Do not be quick to accuse your children of lying because until 5 years, real lying or lying out of self-interest is rare.

Do not condemn a child who has tired you with their questions, as this weakens their sense of curiosity.

Try not to quarrel, especially in front of the child, as this troubles them greatly and affects their personality.

Children have a particular fear of the word death, especially death of their mother or father; Therefore, where it is not necessary, don’t speak constantly of your death, or the like.

Find out about your child’s talents and develop these as much as possible.

In terms of verbal aspects, do not over-saturate your child so that they go on the wrong path, nor under do it, as both these methods are dangerous.

The single most important cause of the happiness of the child is the kindness of the parents.

It is important that the parents give freedom and independence to their children according to their capabilities, so that they develop their initiative, innate independence and self-trust.

Raising your child properly is one of the responsibilities of a parent, and lack of attention to this responsibility is a cause of reproach of the Imāms.

Teach your children the Qur`an.

Source: “From Marriage to Parenthood The Heavenly Path” Written by Abbas and Shahin Merali

How do I get my students to refrain from wearing unIslamic fashion & clothing?

April 13, 2016/in Lifestyle, Youth /by amin edrisi

Question: I am a teacher in a secondary school. I see too many students imitating western fashions in their clothing. What is the reason for this difficulty and what is the solution?

The answer: There are many reasons:

1. Unawareness of the attractive Islamic examples that are the best alternatives to imported foreign examples

2. The spread of western cultures and fashions in our countries via the media (films, posters, ideas, and advertisements), which we call “cultural colonialism” or “intellectual subordination”

3. The weak Islamic media and the inability to give a beautiful picture about the Muslim youth as Allah, the Wise Creator, has willed

4. The weak school programs, which are devoid of the true intellectual gist of religion (Religious lessons are taught in schools in a shallow and boring way because most of the teachers of these lessons are officials and not people of a religious vocation. Therefore, there is no motive for the teachers to teach the pupils religion sincerely.)

5. The family sphere at home, which may contain many things that are contrary to the instructions of Islam (This has a great effect on students in leading them to imitate foreign fashions and bad examples and to be busy with trivial hobbies.)

The solution to this problem is for everyone – individuals, families, and societies – to act in a manner opposite to these reasons. They all have to make their efforts together to guide these youth and to show them the harms of imitating the foreigners. We can warn our youth of imitating the foreigners by quoting the statistics that the foreign newspapers have published about the crimes, problems, griefs, and the high numbers of suicides in the western countries.

source :For a Better Future

How do I cure my nightmares?

April 13, 2016/in Lifestyle, Youth /by amin edrisi

Question: My dreams are nightmares. Would you please show me a cure to my bad predicament before my youth wastes away?

The answer: Some dreams – as psychologists have proven – are a reflection of one’s psychological worry during wakefulness. To cure yourself, you have to follow the following points:

1. Purify your daily activities from unlawful things and if something unlawful takes place, purify it by asking Allah for forgiveness!

2. Be satisfied with what Allah has given you of wealth, beauty, health and the like!

3. Perform ablution (wudu’) before sleeping and recite a portion of the Holy Qur’an, and when you lie in your bed, think of what you have recited or try to sleep while thinking good thoughts!

4. Be certain that those who have been happy in their lives have faced problems too and that their lives are not free from troubles now, but they are well aware that worry is a problem much greater than those problems. So why would they increase their troubles by worrying when they need to decrease them?

5. Remind yourself of your good actions and successful deeds and do not think of your failures and shortcomings! Every one has bright pages in his life and even the successful and great people are not free from defects. Dear young man, set out in the way towards Allah the Almighty and rely on Him!

source :For a Better Future

As a young man how do I achieve success to attain happiness?

April 13, 2016/in Lifestyle, Youth /by amin edrisi

Question: Please teach me the way to success and tell me how I can attain happiness! I am a young man. I would like to see myself in the best position in this life and in the afterlife. What is the way to that? Everyone has an opinion, but I, because of my young age, do not know which opinion is the best.

The answer: The way to a successful life begins with you. The beginning is the self, which if you change, Allah will help you reach success and happiness, but if you leave it to do as it pleases, you will never reach whatever it is you dream of.

Therefore, I would like to guide you to the following:

1. Discover yourself! In this life you can be great and your mention will be recorded in the list of the great if you can only discover your own talents and abilities.

2. When you assign an aim to yourself, know that you not only need accurate thinking, but you also need a strong spirit and high determination to help you reach the advanced steps in the way of success. The source of this strong spirit and high determination is the true belief that connects you with Allah the Almighty, intellectually and practically. To get this source, you have to recite the Qur’an deeply and ponderingly and have to worship Allah in the heart of the night and offer night prayers.

3. To keep your success safe from plagues, you have to be aware of the plagues. They are the following:

a. Bad friends

b. Imagining oneself to be ill

c. Putting off the work of today until tomorrow

d. Convincing oneself to retreat from doing good deeds

e. Not acquiring new information that concerns oneself

source:For a Better Future

How do I lead an active life?

April 13, 2016/in home, Lifestyle, Youth /by amin edrisi

Question: Where does tiredness of the body come from? Most of the time I feel sluggish and I do not know how to restore my vigor and energy. Would you please guide me to a solution?

The answer: Tiredness of body, inactiveness, and feeling weak are results of two factors:

The first is a bodily factor. It includes insufficient or intermittent sleeping, anemia, little or big proportion of iron in the blood, influenza, and others. A doctor can treat these conditions and the recovery is from Allah the Almighty.

The second is a psychological factor. It includes many things such as fear of future, worry, shocks of divorce, traffic accidents, big financial losses, being insulted before others, thinking of previous failures, and thinking of high ambition while worrying about one’s actual inability. All these psychological troubles cause physical exhaustion and fatigue and the cure is to submit to Allah and His fate in the cases where man has no power or choice.

As for the mistakes of man himself, the cure is obtained by repenting and asking Allah for pardon and forgiveness.

It would be better for one to give people’s rights back to them so that his conscience becomes relieved; besides that, he must organize his time according to the religious obligations and activities of life.

Here, I draw your attention to an important point: if you want to know the cause of your fatigue, whether it is physical or psychological, see if it disappears or lessens after sleeping or if it continues. If the first case holds, most often the cause of your fatigue is physical, and if it is the second, most often the cause is psychological. If man watches himself well, he will know from what he suffers, whether physical or psychological troubles.

source:For a Better Future

How can I smile when I do not feel happy or delighted inside myself?

April 13, 2016/in Lifestyle, Youth /by amin edrisi

Question: How can I smile when I do not feel happy or delighted inside myself? I want to be active and not sad and idle. Would you please tell me how I could arrive at this aim?

The answer: First, let your conscience be satisfied and at ease because this is the thing that makes you smile and feel real cheerfulness! This comes from believing in Allah and following what He has revealed to His Messenger (S) and what the Infallible Imams (a.s.) have declared. They have declared that believing in Allah, contentment, and avoiding greediness brings man mental relief and being satisfied with one’s fate increases and solidifies that relief.

If you obtain this relief through these religious beliefs, problems and troubles will not deprive you of your smile and you will not worry at all. Allah the Almighty says, (And be not infirm, and be not grieving, and you shall have the upper hand if you are believers)2.

Religion has declared that serving people, helping the needy and fulfilling the rights of one’s family cause the relief of one’s conscience.

Looking at the green nature, pondering on the stars, listening to the singing of birds, and listening to good maxims make man happy and delighted. When man achieves some success in one of his aims, he feels the ecstasy of triumph which affects his activities and a smile appears on his face.

Islam has encouraged all that because it is the religion of activeness, vigor, progress, and production and not of laziness, worry, boredom or grief.

As for crying for fear of Allah in the heart of night, crying for the wronged saints on the sad historical occasions, doctors and psychologists have proved many advantages and said that if man knew the advantages of crying, he would throw drugs away.

Thus, the comprehensiveness of our great Islamic religion and its perfect verdicts have been proven just because it is from a Great, Wise, One, Unique and Eternal God.

Dear brother, with all that, you will reach your aim. May Allah be with you. Do not forget your smile and do not let it fade or leave your face!
source:For a Better Future

How do I reform my elder brother who commits major sins?

April 13, 2016/in Lifestyle, Youth /by amin edrisi

Question: My elder brother commits major sins. He dares to beat my father who is an old man. We do not know how he has become like that when we are a religious family and nobody else from amongst us is like this elder brother.

The answer: There are some reasons behind this phenomenon. The most important one of them is negligence in the upbringing of this brother from his childhood and not watching him whenever he went out of the house and when he associated with bad friends.

Some families may be excused because of being busy with their living affairs or because of the poor cultural level of the parents or the absence of the master of the family as if when the father is in prison for example. The result is that a serious deviation happens to one of the family members.

Advice usually does not have any effect after the deviation roots deeply inside that person. The severity of that deviant person against the adviser is another result of deviation.

Nevertheless, despairing of reforming this deviant one is not permissible. It compels you to keep on advising him gently and kindly and trying to keep him away from his bad friends by sending some good persons to make friends with him and to busy him with lawful amusement. The troubles of these attempts are less than the troubles of leaving him alone as he is bound to commit more sins.

source :For a Better Future

Because of my illness I get distressed very easily. How can I be happy with my life?

April 13, 2016/in Lifestyle, Youth /by amin edrisi

Happy family with several members in education process

Question: I am thirty years old. Pain and illnesses have done to my body what they have not done to old people’s bodies. I have become tired of doctors and drugs. I have become desperate of everything, even supplications and vows though I respect religion and the Ulama’’. I am very angry due to my state and always ask myself why Allah has afflicted me with these distresses that have made me suspect my religious beliefs and become nervous at any excitement. I hope with your help that I may be happy in life with my wife and children who suffer with me.

The answer: The Iranian magazine Ittila’at Ilmi, vol. 23, seventh year has quoted from the magazine (Reader’s Digest, Feb. 1993) a scientific study emphasizing that most bodily illnesses are results of psychological disorders. According to this fact, man causes himself bodily illnesses if he does not care for his psychological health.

The study adds, ‘For example, cancer and tuberculosis attack complaining and desperate persons. Peptic ulcer attacks persons who pant for high positions. Arthritis and chronic inflammations are the shares of rigorous persons whose hearts are full of hatred against others and who do not pardon or forgive others. Headache attacks those who keep their anger inside them.

Psychological disorders, like anger, fear, and distress, exhaust precious powers of the mind and the body and then psychological fatigue, pains, and illnesses come instead.’

The study adds, ‘Self-confidence and not letting fear and being upset overcome oneself make man carry out his daily activities in a way that delights his heart and comforts his mind. With comfort and hearty relief, man’s body enjoys safety and healthiness. In fact, even a broken bone recovers earlier if one’s mind is peaceful and his heart is calm and satisfied.’

The author of this scientific study says, ‘Man, for the sake of his bodily health, must free himself from the complex of failure and defeat. If he imprisons himself in this complex or he fails to free himself from it, he will face problems, pains, and illnesses such as asthma, headache, and nasal sinuses inflammation.’

Dear brother, what I want to tell you is that what we all need to do is take care of our health. Let us achieve it and recommend others to it so that our minds and bodies enjoy peacefulness and safety because “a sound mind is in a sound body”. Islamic traditions have indicated these solutions and emphasized that the healthiness of the body is the result of the healthiness of mentality. Islam was the first to show the scientific method of keeping psychological and physical health.

This study, which has been preceded by the Islamic theory, emphasizes the Islamic instructions by recommending the following:

1. Assure yourself every day that you are sound and safe because this self-suggestion prevents you from feeling weak or submitting to illness!

2. Try to live normally and do not be greedy and do not pant for this life so that you become involved in some situations out of greediness! Doing so exhausts your intellectual, psychological, and physical powers.

3. Assign to yourself some times for rest, relaxation, and harmless amusement!

4. Believe in Allah sincerely so that you feel the warmth of this faith inside your heart, and this will make feel comfortable and delighted whenever you mention Allah and worship Him!

5. Tell yourself everyday that you are better than you were yesterday and actually be so lest your conscience says to you: away! O you, self-deceiver!

If you adhere to these five recommendations after perceiving the medical fact mentioned above, you will be delighted and psychologically cheerful and this is what brings you physical healthiness and fruitful activity.

You should know that distrusting the true religious beliefs is itself a cause of psychological diseases that cause bodily diseases. At the same time when that scientific study and the sayings of many western psychologists declare that faith in Allah has a great role in curing psychological troubles and bodily diseases, it does not fit a Muslim to let the Satan or his followers in the society whisper evil to him and play with his mind.

It is narrated that the Prophet (S) has said, ‘I wonder at a believer why he becomes angry at illness! If he knows what benefit he receives because of illness, he would wish to remain ill until he meets his Lord1.’

Of course, this is if the illness is chronic and doctors cannot cure it or the ailing believer is unable to pay for the treatment.

Dear brother, I hope you will return to your religious beliefs and strengthen your morale by them in order to not fail in this trial because then you would lose this life and the afterlife together. You should know well that losing this life and its pleasures is easier to you than losing the eternal Paradise where there will be no pain, no disease, no old age, and no death.

source:For a Better Future

Archive for month: April, 2016